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I was...
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When this occurred I also experienced...
This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
Healing to me is forgiving yourself for what happened. Knowing it’s ok to distance yourself from family if they aren’t supporting you. Only sharing your story with people you’ve built trust with, cause you no longer feel vulnerable. Being able to accept what happened without knowing why it happened to you.
Report
The truth is I no longer hate him. I feel sorry for him. Healing for me is about feeling free again without looking over my shoulder for fear I'm being followed.
Report
Healing is a continual journey, it doesn't end when you get out of the relationship. I'll never be fully healed, but life has to go on, I will not deny myself happiness due to past horrors. I'm one of the lucky ones that escaped with my life and for that I'm thankful every day, others are not so lucky.
Report
ONE IN FOUR is a short dance documentary film that has won 15 national and international film awards. External Video Link Contact Name/Details
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Healing is something I once assumed was a quick fix. Nov 2022 I was assaulted and raped - I was in denial and running off a mixture of fear and adrenaline until Nov 2024; where my body literally shut down for 2 weeks. I've over eaten. I've over drank. I neglected myself. I self-harmed. I attempted to take my life multiple times. All of which most would disapprove of especially as i often continue with no.3&4 to this day. Yet, it kept me alive. What I'm trying to say is recovery and healing is not linear. My coping methods worked for me but they might not work for you. I don't even think I would recommend mine. However, once I learned to accept everything I believe that's when I truly started to heal. The night he raped me, I died inside. Who I once was; destroyed. So I have been trying to rebuild ever since...progress is slow and small; especially living with ptsd but; progress is progress.
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
Healing for me is to view myself with compassion and put the shame onto them instead of continuing to carry it.
Report
Someone wants to listen to your story. Someone wants to help. Don't deal with this alone. I believe you, I see you. You can survive this.
Report
I don’t know how to heal yet. I’ve been trying but I find it hard since I always believe I’m the one to blame. I really do hope I can learn to heal.
Report
Talk, therapy, know it’s nothing you did, know you are amazing and don’t let those sad bastards take that away from you.
Report
The main one is 'this too shall pass' or 'time heals' it took many years and change of jobs to really get over what happened. I still feel angry that he got away with it but I know this is usually the case with date rapes, especially when alcohol is involved.
Report
This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
The truth is I no longer hate him. I feel sorry for him. Healing for me is about feeling free again without looking over my shoulder for fear I'm being followed.
Report
Someone wants to listen to your story. Someone wants to help. Don't deal with this alone. I believe you, I see you. You can survive this.
Report
The main one is 'this too shall pass' or 'time heals' it took many years and change of jobs to really get over what happened. I still feel angry that he got away with it but I know this is usually the case with date rapes, especially when alcohol is involved.
Report
ONE IN FOUR is a short dance documentary film that has won 15 national and international film awards. External Video Link Contact Name/Details
Report
Healing for me is to view myself with compassion and put the shame onto them instead of continuing to carry it.
Report
Talk, therapy, know it’s nothing you did, know you are amazing and don’t let those sad bastards take that away from you.
Report
Healing to me is forgiving yourself for what happened. Knowing it’s ok to distance yourself from family if they aren’t supporting you. Only sharing your story with people you’ve built trust with, cause you no longer feel vulnerable. Being able to accept what happened without knowing why it happened to you.
Report
Healing is a continual journey, it doesn't end when you get out of the relationship. I'll never be fully healed, but life has to go on, I will not deny myself happiness due to past horrors. I'm one of the lucky ones that escaped with my life and for that I'm thankful every day, others are not so lucky.
Report
Healing is something I once assumed was a quick fix. Nov 2022 I was assaulted and raped - I was in denial and running off a mixture of fear and adrenaline until Nov 2024; where my body literally shut down for 2 weeks. I've over eaten. I've over drank. I neglected myself. I self-harmed. I attempted to take my life multiple times. All of which most would disapprove of especially as i often continue with no.3&4 to this day. Yet, it kept me alive. What I'm trying to say is recovery and healing is not linear. My coping methods worked for me but they might not work for you. I don't even think I would recommend mine. However, once I learned to accept everything I believe that's when I truly started to heal. The night he raped me, I died inside. Who I once was; destroyed. So I have been trying to rebuild ever since...progress is slow and small; especially living with ptsd but; progress is progress.
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
I don’t know how to heal yet. I’ve been trying but I find it hard since I always believe I’m the one to blame. I really do hope I can learn to heal.
Report
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Please adhere to our Community Guidelines to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.
Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.