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I was...
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This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
Hello. I am a woman and a survivor of prolonged childhood rape by a very close relative. He was someone very loved by the rest of the family, someone who was "loving" with me, and that's why when everything came to light, almost no one believed me. I wasn't the only victim, and yet they still treat him as if he were untouchable. That scarred me deeply. Today I am a mother. I love my children deeply and I am very protective. But for some time now, I've been having intrusive thoughts that fill me with fear and disgust. They aren't desires; I don't want to hurt them, on the contrary: just thinking about it distresses me. It's harder with my daughters, even when bathing them, and that makes me question myself and feel guilty. I never crossed any boundaries, nor would I, but my mind sometimes attacks me with the "what if?" I would like to know if anyone else has experienced something similar: this fear of becoming what I suffered. Thank you for reading.
Dear reader, this story contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
Learning to live without wanting to kill myself
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
As someone who is in the process of court hearings due to rape and sexual assault. It would be nice to find support and speak to others who are in similar situations.
Report
Congratulations Elizabeth on all your Dedication and Commitment to passing Trey’s Law!! Officially in Effect in Texas today!! 🙌🎉💯 You are Honoring Trey with Legacy and Love! ❤️🩹❤️🩹
Report
Hope comes from late Old English hopa "confidence in the future,". I would reframe that to having confidence in yourself. HOPE can be dangerous and you can hope for change, hope for better but YOU ARE ENOUGH as you are and if you are hoping for better then believe you can do it. Be kind to yourself and put one foot in-front of the other.
Report
I thought he was my freind until I told him about my sa and he made”jokes about it” eventually put his hands on me and drug me out my dorm room
Report
Survival. accept and accepted myself as an asexual which is my nature I realized at 50 years old
Report
It’s important to let go of the past, people who aren’t good for you. Don’t stay in a toxic environment.
Report
Hope is a good thing I kept my faith and hoped for a change and it happened
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
to me, healing means understanding what happened. I don't need to know why he did it, but why me?
Report
My message to others is that even if you are not believed by those closest to you, or worse, even if you are believed but they just do not care about you - do not let that deter you from sharing your lived experience. Another person in the world will be strengthened by your story.
Report
I finally divorced my abuser after 45 years. It is not easy but it is better. Of course no relationship is 100% awful 100% of the time. That’s what helped keep me in it. But, I now know that I deserve more than the crumbs I got in my abusive marriage.
Report
Dont give up. Even a life of suffering is better than no life at all.
Report
Praying for forgiveness of the other person and learning to not have a grudge against the perpetrator.
Report
If you think you may have been assaulted you probably have. Take time to deal with it don’t brush it off. It is not the new normal.
Report
Getting it down in writing and sharing does help lighten the load a little
Report
This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
Congratulations Elizabeth on all your Dedication and Commitment to passing Trey’s Law!! Officially in Effect in Texas today!! 🙌🎉💯 You are Honoring Trey with Legacy and Love! ❤️🩹❤️🩹
Report
Survival. accept and accepted myself as an asexual which is my nature I realized at 50 years old
Report
to me, healing means understanding what happened. I don't need to know why he did it, but why me?
Report
If you think you may have been assaulted you probably have. Take time to deal with it don’t brush it off. It is not the new normal.
Report
Getting it down in writing and sharing does help lighten the load a little
Report
Hello. I am a woman and a survivor of prolonged childhood rape by a very close relative. He was someone very loved by the rest of the family, someone who was "loving" with me, and that's why when everything came to light, almost no one believed me. I wasn't the only victim, and yet they still treat him as if he were untouchable. That scarred me deeply. Today I am a mother. I love my children deeply and I am very protective. But for some time now, I've been having intrusive thoughts that fill me with fear and disgust. They aren't desires; I don't want to hurt them, on the contrary: just thinking about it distresses me. It's harder with my daughters, even when bathing them, and that makes me question myself and feel guilty. I never crossed any boundaries, nor would I, but my mind sometimes attacks me with the "what if?" I would like to know if anyone else has experienced something similar: this fear of becoming what I suffered. Thank you for reading.
Dear reader, this story contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
As someone who is in the process of court hearings due to rape and sexual assault. It would be nice to find support and speak to others who are in similar situations.
Report
Dont give up. Even a life of suffering is better than no life at all.
Report
Learning to live without wanting to kill myself
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
Hope comes from late Old English hopa "confidence in the future,". I would reframe that to having confidence in yourself. HOPE can be dangerous and you can hope for change, hope for better but YOU ARE ENOUGH as you are and if you are hoping for better then believe you can do it. Be kind to yourself and put one foot in-front of the other.
Report
I thought he was my freind until I told him about my sa and he made”jokes about it” eventually put his hands on me and drug me out my dorm room
Report
It’s important to let go of the past, people who aren’t good for you. Don’t stay in a toxic environment.
Report
Hope is a good thing I kept my faith and hoped for a change and it happened
Dear reader, this message contains language of self-harm that some may find triggering or discomforting.
Report
My message to others is that even if you are not believed by those closest to you, or worse, even if you are believed but they just do not care about you - do not let that deter you from sharing your lived experience. Another person in the world will be strengthened by your story.
Report
I finally divorced my abuser after 45 years. It is not easy but it is better. Of course no relationship is 100% awful 100% of the time. That’s what helped keep me in it. But, I now know that I deserve more than the crumbs I got in my abusive marriage.
Report
Praying for forgiveness of the other person and learning to not have a grudge against the perpetrator.
Report
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Views
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Stories read
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Read our Community Guidelines, Privacy Policy, and Terms
Have feedback? Send it to us
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Please adhere to our Community Guidelines to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.
Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.