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I don't know in which moment started. It was my father. I was a child. I was the favorite one between all of our brother and sisters. It was always subtle. The contact when I lay down on his bed, the slaps on the butt, or the comments that "you are so pretty that if I were your age and you weren't my daughter I would be with you.", added to the touch when I climbed onto his legs. It took me many years to understand that this, added to the fact that he did not see me as a normal father sees a daughter, hurt me tremendously. I felt like a trophy, like an extension of his body. I discovered that all this was abuse more than a year and a half ago. When I realized it in therapy I cried a lot. I felt very guilty about what happened, and even to this day I question whether I am not inventing everything, since everything is plausible and existed in reality, I just didn't want to see it as abuse. My older brother also abused my sisters and me, however, I have never been able to tell my family about my father. Seeing the pain they have felt with the news about my brother (relieved by one of my sisters), I see that it would only generate inconvenience and pain in my family. And being pragmatic, I couldn't achieve anything by revealing the news to my family other than complications. I know that if my sisters knew, they would want to talk to my father, and my father knowing would be able to stop paying my and my younger sister's alimony. And considering we're in college, it's something I can't afford. But I'm not going to lie, I feel disgusted every time I talk to him, I wish i would never have to talk to him.

I was SA when I was 10 years old approximately, and my cousin 13 approximately (he is 3 years older than me). My depression start at that age approximately too, so know that im thinking about it that was maybe the reason. This week i told my mom about it, im 18, so my trauma happen 8 years later, i feel guilty because she want to talk with my family, not all, but yes some people of my family about what happen, i dont want ruin his life, even if he ruin mine, if he get some consequences i will feel guilty because this happen 8 years ago. My mom dont understand why i worry so much about it, i dont understand eather. I know that maybe he was conscious about that what he do was SA, because he was 13 approximately, not 7, not 8, not 9, not even 10. He meet his girlfriend when she was 17 and he was 19, and sometimes is a asshole, but i cant stop feeling guilty about it, even when i dont understand, because no one give me sexual education at 10, and im autistic, and when i was a kid it was more dificult undertand things. Sorry for my broken english, English is not my first language, i just want know why is not my fault, because its feel like it is.

A few years ago, I had an unpleasant experience. I had a cousin a year younger than me; at the time, we were both minors when this started (I'm 1.60 meters tall and he's 1.80 meters). A lot of things are going through my head, but we go on family vacations, so when it happened, we were at the beach. Anyway, it all started when he would hug me around the waist and put his face against my breasts. At first, that was it; I considered it harmless but strange since neither of us was into physical contact. As the days went by, it escalated. He would hug me around the waist a lot, press himself against me beyond all limits, climb on my back, almost immobilizing me, and press his body against me to the point where I could feel his erection. Then he started looking for moments alone to press himself against me. He would get into my bed in the early hours of the morning and hug me, maintaining an erection against my backside and breathing heavily in my ear, so I couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. But if I kicked him out, he would... He refused to back off, demanding more time. This escalated until one day he touched me. He was touching my buttocks, kneading them, and pressing his erection against my leg, seeking friction. With his other hand, he was kneading my breasts and trying to slip his hand under my shirt. I set boundaries a few times, but because I didn't want things to be awkward between us, I wasn't firm. I don't know how to categorize this since we were both minors, and I don't know what to think.

I was a 7 year old girl with a lot of confidence, maybe that's why or just luck happened but the truth doesn't matter in this story, I grew up with only cousins and vafones brothers in a very close family, everyone knew everything it's quite surprising that they didn't know until I spoke what happened, during a vacation I don't remember the year or the place but I do remember that I was playing a hulk play 2 game, it was very late like 4 or 5 in the morning and my cousin was taking care of me he was older than 10 years old and he told me to sit on his lap, I remember how he took the game controller from me and then everything is confusing I don't remember anything until the following year, I matured quickly everyone said it was because I was an intelligent and agile girl, I was the next time that cousin tried to put a hand on me when I was 8 almost 9 I broke his nose.

Im 20 years old now but when I was 12, I was sexually Assaulted while visiting my Hometown. When I was 12, I had an odd sense of how I viewed love and attraction. For example, while visiting my hometown I often went out with a friend who knew many of the kids who also grew up there. She introduced me to a group of boys who were either family or family friends. I tried to be nice but they just kept putting their hands on me every chance they got. Even thought I knew it was wrong and felt kinda uncomfortable, I tried to like it and think maybe they think im beautiful or that im desirable. But that night one of the boys convinced me to get food with him. It was common for food stands to be in the alleys because the roads were very crowded with people. I went but there were no food stands, just a dimly lit alleyway. Before I knew it, I was pinned and he assaulted me. I felt like I left my body just trying to blank out everything. When it was done he left first and I was trying to process what happened. Prior to this, I didn’t know what sex was or even seen boys exposed. I walked out alone and saw my mom sitting with the other women there. I didn’t tell her. I never told her. I was too scared and ashamed. At one point I tried to turn it around and think maybe this was okay and Im finally a “grown up now” but no matter what, I kept coming back to how I just froze, I didn’t like it and it wasn’t okay. I tried to tell my mom when I turned 18 but i didn’t tell her the full truth. I just told her about the groping to see what she would say or think. She got upset and said “Don’t let boys do that or they’ll think you’re easy.” That really shattered me so I didn’t end up telling her the rest. I’ve pretty much kept it to myself for about 8 years now. And recently, I learned that he died in a motorcycle accident while on his way to work. He got hit by a truck. When my family heard, they were sad for him and his family. I wasn’t angry at them, they didn’t know. And i felt pretty conflicted because I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but I still couldn’t get over what happened. I just want to move on and maybe gather the courage to share this with my family someday. If not, im glad I shared it here. This is the first time I heard about this movement and my first time sharing it. Im glad I finally let it out.