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I was a 7 year old girl with a lot of confidence, maybe that's why or just luck happened but the truth doesn't matter in this story, I grew up with only cousins and vafones brothers in a very close family, everyone knew everything it's quite surprising that they didn't know until I spoke what happened, during a vacation I don't remember the year or the place but I do remember that I was playing a hulk play 2 game, it was very late like 4 or 5 in the morning and my cousin was taking care of me he was older than 10 years old and he told me to sit on his lap, I remember how he took the game controller from me and then everything is confusing I don't remember anything until the following year, I matured quickly everyone said it was because I was an intelligent and agile girl, I was the next time that cousin tried to put a hand on me when I was 8 almost 9 I broke his nose.

I don't know in which moment started. It was my father. I was a child. I was the favorite one between all of our brother and sisters. It was always subtle. The contact when I lay down on his bed, the slaps on the butt, or the comments that "you are so pretty that if I were your age and you weren't my daughter I would be with you.", added to the touch when I climbed onto his legs. It took me many years to understand that this, added to the fact that he did not see me as a normal father sees a daughter, hurt me tremendously. I felt like a trophy, like an extension of his body. I discovered that all this was abuse more than a year and a half ago. When I realized it in therapy I cried a lot. I felt very guilty about what happened, and even to this day I question whether I am not inventing everything, since everything is plausible and existed in reality, I just didn't want to see it as abuse. My older brother also abused my sisters and me, however, I have never been able to tell my family about my father. Seeing the pain they have felt with the news about my brother (relieved by one of my sisters), I see that it would only generate inconvenience and pain in my family. And being pragmatic, I couldn't achieve anything by revealing the news to my family other than complications. I know that if my sisters knew, they would want to talk to my father, and my father knowing would be able to stop paying my and my younger sister's alimony. And considering we're in college, it's something I can't afford. But I'm not going to lie, I feel disgusted every time I talk to him, I wish i would never have to talk to him.

I was SA when I was 10 years old approximately, and my cousin 13 approximately (he is 3 years older than me). My depression start at that age approximately too, so know that im thinking about it that was maybe the reason. This week i told my mom about it, im 18, so my trauma happen 8 years later, i feel guilty because she want to talk with my family, not all, but yes some people of my family about what happen, i dont want ruin his life, even if he ruin mine, if he get some consequences i will feel guilty because this happen 8 years ago. My mom dont understand why i worry so much about it, i dont understand eather. I know that maybe he was conscious about that what he do was SA, because he was 13 approximately, not 7, not 8, not 9, not even 10. He meet his girlfriend when she was 17 and he was 19, and sometimes is a asshole, but i cant stop feeling guilty about it, even when i dont understand, because no one give me sexual education at 10, and im autistic, and when i was a kid it was more dificult undertand things. Sorry for my broken english, English is not my first language, i just want know why is not my fault, because its feel like it is.

A few years ago, I had an unpleasant experience. I had a cousin a year younger than me; at the time, we were both minors when this started (I'm 1.60 meters tall and he's 1.80 meters). A lot of things are going through my head, but we go on family vacations, so when it happened, we were at the beach. Anyway, it all started when he would hug me around the waist and put his face against my breasts. At first, that was it; I considered it harmless but strange since neither of us was into physical contact. As the days went by, it escalated. He would hug me around the waist a lot, press himself against me beyond all limits, climb on my back, almost immobilizing me, and press his body against me to the point where I could feel his erection. Then he started looking for moments alone to press himself against me. He would get into my bed in the early hours of the morning and hug me, maintaining an erection against my backside and breathing heavily in my ear, so I couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. But if I kicked him out, he would... He refused to back off, demanding more time. This escalated until one day he touched me. He was touching my buttocks, kneading them, and pressing his erection against my leg, seeking friction. With his other hand, he was kneading my breasts and trying to slip his hand under my shirt. I set boundaries a few times, but because I didn't want things to be awkward between us, I wasn't firm. I don't know how to categorize this since we were both minors, and I don't know what to think.

I was in a relationship for 3 years. I love them, the good times were the best, the bad times were the worst. When I entered their life they were at an all time low, they had broken their leg on vacation and their best friend “their person” had moved states and cut them off. I took on a lot of responsibility from regulating their emotions, comforting them, bringing them everywhere they were going, and spending a lot of time with them, especially when they were down. I noticed that they had an issue with alcohol but figured it was a response to the terrible circumstances they were in. One night I wanted to treat them, they had been stuck in the house in a wheelchair, and were understandably miserable. So I was planning on bringing them to the beach, but they were a bit drunk and tended to lash out when drunk. So I was a bit put off about being trapped in a car with them if they were lashing out. But as the night went on going to the beachwas non negotiable and they were lashing out at me suggesting us do it another time. So we headed towards the beach, stopped to use the bathroom otw at store. I was helping them get into bathroom and they were getting pissed at me helping, which you know understandable I’d hate to have a broken leg and needing help. Otw the way out of the gas station they cursed out the staff. So my stress was high, but I was focused on the beach might make things better. Got to the beach, had a good time, listened to music, watched the sunrise. But they were drinking at the beach and didn’t want help getting into the passenger seat for otw home. They fell in the sand, they were so mad, they didn’t want help getting up. They got in the passenger seat and ripped the mirror flap off the car. I’m fully stressed just thinking get them home. They are yelling at me about where is their phone. I frantically search outside and it’s not outside so I say idk, but it’s not outside must be in the car. And pull out to drive home. They ask a couple more times about the phone and I respond the same focused on driving home. They grab me by the hair and punch me in the face while I’m driving. I pull over, I yell at them we are done, there is screaming about the phone. Eventually they find It in their pocket. I drop them off at a friends house and cut them off for a bit. I was devastated. Eventually they apologized and I agreed to be friends again if there was no alcohol involved . A few weeks later I’m meeting the same friend over at her house and they are drunk. I think I got called over cuz he needed help calming her down. I got her calmed down and was like time for bed. They asked to cuddle and I’m like sure. They ask for more and I’m like no. They keep pressing, I’m like no, you’re drunk, I already said no, your friend is like right their. They keep pressing, are pulling at my clothes, I get up to leave, they cry and start freaking out so I cuddle again. Repeat. I give in. Their friend hears it and gets really upset. I’m upset and embarrassed. I tell them the next day and they are really upset at themselves and I comfort them. It moves into a relationship again. Coercion happens a few more times, with one time them saying your no doesn’t matter, but eventually I start locking the door when they are drunk. No matter the banging on it, or the screaming, or the crying. This goes on with highs and lows for a couple years till yesterday. They asked me over to watch Halloween movies. I said sorry I can’t, I have to make some money, they offered to loan it to me cuz it was an important holiday to them. So we watch maybe 5 movies, have a good time, even go to sleep on a good note. However I guess they didn’t go to sleep. Cuz I get woken up to them pouring a soda on my face and punching me in my face. I punch back while laying down until I realize what’s going on. I’m so upset I just go Shower. I guess they wanted me up and I wasn’t getting up so they escalated. I smoke a cigarette, yell a bit, talk about calling the cops, and then leave leaving the keys to their house. I’ve blocked them on everything. I was hoping they could get help and the good times which were wonderful could be the normal. But I can’t put up with this. I’m so worried for their safety, but I told their friend to check in on them. Idk I think I’m having a hard time processing this