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Survivor story
Just a kid
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Tell someone. Anyone. Don’t be afraid. You are not to blame.
Message of Healing
Healing means sharing my story and starting to love myself again.
When I was a child abut 10 or 11 years old the son of my dad’s best friend started pleasuring himself n front of me. I was afraid to tell anyone because I did not think his parents would believe m and I did not want my dad to get into a fight with his friends. This friends son was not even a year older than me. He went on vacations with us and I was often left alone with him. By the time I was 11 the abuse escalated. One night while we were on vacation with my dad we were left alone while my dad went out to fish late at night and while I was sleeping he climbed into my bed. I woke up with him on top of me. I tried to push him off but I was a small kid. He said shh it’s ok it’s just me. I still tried to push him off but he already had his pants off and. He easily pushed my shorts aside…. He held my hands down while he raped me. It hurt and I was terrified someone would find out and think it was my fault because I had not told about the other stuff happening. This happened for the next couple years any theme he could get me alone. I was so ashamed and truly believed it was my fault. It finally stopped when I got old enough to refuse to go around them anymore. I never told anyone then.. By the time I was old enough to really understand that it was NOT MY FAULT. I felt like confronting him would only hurt my dad. Now over 30 years later my dad who I loved so much has passed away and I wish I had told him. I finally told my husband and I was so afraid he would stop loving me. But he didn’t.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.