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Survivor story

I no longer like the ocean.

Original story

Message to a Survivor

But I’ve also encountered many good things along the way. The women I’ve met have been very kind; they listen to me with warmth and offer comforting hugs, along with advice. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I find solace in petting my cats. They are so adorable, soft, and affectionate, and being with them brings me a sense of peace.

Message of Healing

I hope I can move on from this. Right now, my understanding of gender feels confused. I'm afraid of being around men, and I'm also scared of the ocean and the tropics. I used to love the sea, the sunshine, and warm weather, but now I fear them. I want to love the ocean again, to love the sunshine. I want my body to stop freezing up unexpectedly, and I want to be able to interact with people normally. I hope to receive compensation from the hotel... I just... oh God... I hope the pain stops. I want to put a good ending to this chapter.

My English isn't very good, so I will be using ChatGPT to help translate my story throughout. My mother and I came to Fiji from China for a vacation. Before the trip, my mental health wasn’t in a good state. I was exhausted and needed healing. I have always loved tropical countries and heard that Fiji is beautiful. Due to the rushed nature of the trip, I didn't do much research and simply booked through a travel agency I found online before heading to Fiji. We went snorkeling at Resort, and at first, everything was great. Our first day of snorkeling was very enjoyable. Even though my English isn't very good, I was able to communicate with people on a basic level, and the scenery was beautiful, which made me feel very happy. We decided to go snorkeling again the next day, but that second day turned into a nightmare. We were greeted by two men—one was the captain, and the other was the snorkeling instructor. On the boat, our conversations were pleasant, and before we got into the water, the captain repeatedly reminded us to stay close to the instructor. Once we were in the water, the male instructor approached my mom and me in a way that felt overly intimate and uncomfortable. He intertwined his fingers with ours and held us very close while guiding us through the water. At one point, he wrapped his arm around my waist. My mask kept filling with water during the snorkeling, and he even made me wrap my legs around his waist to adjust the mask. However, since we weren't wearing any safety gear, I didn’t realize at the time how inappropriate his behavior actually was. I'm not sure how to describe it—he separated me from my mom and took me to a secluded area of the ocean. There was no one else around, no boats, just the two of us. I wasn’t wearing a life jacket, and with my severe nearsightedness, I couldn’t see anything. On top of that, my mask kept filling with water, making it impossible for me to escape... it was a nightmare. He kissed me, touched my breasts and buttocks, and inserted his fingers into my private area. He kept saying he wanted to 'fuck me.' I refused to let it go that far and also refused to tell him my room number. But he didn't give up and kept harassing me for half an hour. It was only after I repeatedly asked about my mother's safety that he finally took me back to the boat. Up until that point, I kept blaming myself, wondering if my inability to clearly communicate or my uncertain attitude had somehow given the wrong impression. But when my mother returned to the boat with a distressed look on her face and told me that she, too, had been sexually harassed, I realized that it wasn’t my communication or attitude at fault. This was sexual harassment, plain and simple. "I am still seeking help from various sources. I hope to receive the compensation I deserve, I want him to be held accountable for his actions, and more than anything, I want to stop feeling this pain."

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