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Together, we are creating a safer world for woman to thrive.
Healing is letting go and moving on.
It was the mid-90's. I am not sure of the exact year or date, yet I am trying hard to figure this out. I have recently been trying to go back a fit the pieces together - I am told this is part of the healing, although I would prefer to just keep it tucked away - way back - in my head, so that I do not have to process it. Yet I want to move on from it. For years, I kept this to myself. I am a strong woman. I survived cancer at the age of 23. I traveled the world by myself - I moved to Australia by myself, I put myself through grad school - by myself. I got married, got divorced and then adopted and am now raising my daughter - by myself. But I am not someone who likes being alone. I am an extrovert. I love people. I love being n partnership with a man. I always thought I would build a family together with someone. But, here I am. It happened right after grad school. It was the early 90's and the job market was tight. I tried so hard to find a good job. I believed n myself. I had a Masters degree in international business from the top business school in the world. I came back to my hometown of Location and joined the international business committee at the Chamber of Commerce. It was there that I met Name. He offered to help me find a job in my field. He was a powerful man. He had been one of the founders of Organization. I was in my early 30's and he would have been probably in his 60's or 70's. He offered to meet for lunch, and said to meet him at his office near Street Address. I was excited to have someone of his caliber believing in in me and in my court. I wore my business suit and drove to his office. It seemed strange that it was a small older building. I parked and went inside the building. There was no one at the reception deck. In fact, the building seemed really quite - there seemed to be no one there. I say "Hello" and Name said to come on back to his office. I walked down a short hall to his office - which was a big office with his desk at the far end and in the middle of the room. I said hello, and we made some small talk, before we were going to head out to lunch. I was sitting in the guest chair on the other side of his desk. He got up to get his coat (I thought) but then I realized he had actually closed the door. I felt trapped. I was trapped. WTF! He came back towards me and told me he wanted to have sex with me. I was stunned. I did not know what to do. I was so confused. He walked towards me and started to touch me and leaned in to kiss me. I pushed him away and was able to somehow get around him. I ran for the door. I ran outside. I ran to my car and drove a block or two away. And I sat in my car for hours and cried - too paralyzed to move. I did not know what to do or who to tell. It would be my word against his. He was rich and super powerful. I was just starting my career. He could ruin me. No one would believe me. I told one or two friends at the time, yet I cannot recall which ones. I carried it with me, and stuffed the experience further down as time went on. Or so I thought - but I had a hard time trusting men. Then the Me Too movement happened and it all started to come back to me. I have struggled to fit the pieces of that day and time back together. Certain that he must have died by now, why speak up? Because it was so premeditated, so calculating, so intentional - I am certain I am not the only one who was the victim of his abuse - his sexual abuse, his manipulation, his abuse of power, abuse of trust, abuse of authority, etc. I want to expose him because the world needs to know what kind of man he was. And because my voice could give rise to other voices - it could empower other to come forward. It makes me so angry that this mans abuse has affected my life so much. Yet by sharing my story, I am further along in the healing process. And I hope that by speaking up - I help to create a slightly safer place for my daughter to grow up.
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