0
Members
0
Views
0
Reactions
0
Stories read
Need to take a break?
For immediate help, visit {{resource}}
Survivor story
When a pattern appears don’t ignore it.
Original story
Message to a Survivor
I’ve always lacked hope, but I think it’s so important to hold tightly. To hope Things get easier. When you give up that hope that things will get better then I think that’s when you truly start to spiral. Things will be better, it will take a lot of time and hope and effort, but it will happen in its own time. You just have to hold on tightly to that hope.
Message of Healing
I don’t think I’ll ever completely heal after that. It has been 3 years since then but I still have so so much healing to go. I haven’t have a relationship since, and I’ve learned to be comfortable with this. To me healing is just finding a place where I can be happy, and comfortable. That you can function and thrive. That doesn’t mean you don’t have bad nights, or hard days, but being able to pick yourself up from those days and move forward. But still give yourself the time to heal, and mourn.
I haven’t always had the most luck with relationships. When I was 13 I had a girlfriend that was abusive, she would cut herself in front of me and smile about it because she likes the way I panicked about keeping her safe. At one point she said I didn’t love her if I didn’t take my cloths off in a bathroom stall with her. That relationship ended pretty quick and I got support from most to help me mostly heal from it. When I was about 15 I think is when I meant someone online that I ended up dating. He lived about 6 hours away so we couldn’t normally see each other without planning ahead of time and normally for some sort of event. I knew from the start he wasn’t going to be greatest person but just getting out of the previous relationship I thought anything would be better. So I stayed even with some of the not amazing things he’d do. He would often tell me about him S/H because I would try to take care of him, very reminiscent of my last relationship but I got over it. He sometimes would also have “panic attacks” and the only way I learned to get him to stop would be to go on a FaceTime and show myself. That was an action that most didn’t know he did but it still sticks in my head. I’m well aware now that I’m Asexual but back then I thought I was just being dramatic so I got over how uncomfortable it made me. It only got worse after we meant in person. He was super sexual with me, making me do thing to make him feel better and sometimes being physically abusive. At one point he got upset and me and chocked me, I tried to fight him but he was stronger then me. I almost passed out and I thought I was going to die. Thankfully he let go, idk what made him let go but before my vision completely left he walked away. What made me finally breaks up with him happened on my 16th birthday. It was later in the night and he asked to have sex. He knew I was uncomfortable with this but he still asked. I said no and kinda shut down. (I have autism and often in situations like that I go non-verbal and kinda close off) he kept asking until I finally gave in and nodded yes. Never even verbally said yes. It ended with me having a panic attack, I couldn’t breath and just started to cry. He said sorry but later went to bed leaving me just sitting there. I broke up with him after he left my house, I didn’t want to do it in person. I was scared what he would do.
Just Checking...
Discard Message?
You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it?
0
Members
0
Views
0
Reactions
0
Stories read
Need to take a break?
For immediate help, visit {{resource}}
Please adhere to our Community Guidelines to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.
Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.