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Is it still considered sexual assault if I was never touched but I felt pressured to sexually touch the other person when I didn’t want to?
Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you so much for this question. While only you can define what you experienced, based on what you shared this can still certainly be a form of sexual assault, even if you were not physically touched by the other person. Sexual assault is not limited to physical contact. It can also include coercion, manipulation, or pressure to engage in sexual activity that you do not want to do.
If you felt pressured or forced to touch the other person when you didn't want to, that is a violation of your consent and your bodily autonomy. It's important to understand that consent should be freely given, and if you felt like you couldn't say no or if you were made to feel like you owed the other person sexual contact, then that is not true consent.
It's common for survivors of sexual assault to feel confused, ashamed, or unsure about what happened to them, especially if the assault didn't fit the narrow definition of what society often thinks of as sexual assault. But it's important to recognize that your experiences and your feelings are valid, and that you deserve support and healing, no matter what form the assault took.
If you're struggling to process what happened to you or if you're experiencing symptoms of trauma, such as anxiety, depression, or flashbacks, I encourage you to reach out for help. You can talk to a trusted friend or family member, or seek the support of a therapist who specializes in working with survivors of sexual trauma. Remember, you are not alone, and you don't have to go through this all on your own.
It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge what happened to you and to reach out for help, and I want to affirm the strength you've already shown by reaching out to us. Your experiences matter, and you deserve to be heard, believed, and supported. You are not alone.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.