I need advice about a concerning situation with a friend. During a weekend sleepover, a friend and I kissed one night. The next evening, I told everyone I didn't want to be touched, but this same friend continued to touch me inappropriately despite my request. Later, when I went to bed, he joined me uninvited. Despite my clear refusal, he began touching me sexually. Although I initially resisted, I eventually started to feel some physical enjoyment. However, the next day I felt uncomfortable discussing it. I'm confused about whether what he did was wrong, or if I'm overthinking the situation. What's your perspective on this?

Thank you for reaching out and trusting us with the details of your situation. To start, what happened to you was not okay. Your friend's actions were a clear violation of your consent and boundaries. You explicitly stated that you didn't want to be touched, and later said no to his advances in bed. Consent is crucial in any sexual interaction, and it should be enthusiastic, ongoing, and can be withdrawn at any time.

It's common for people who have experienced sexual violations to have mixed feelings or confusion about their experiences. Only you can label your experiences and determine whether you feel violated by this interaction. However, feeling some physical enjoyment during an unwanted sexual encounter doesn't negate the fact that your boundaries were violated. Our bodies can sometimes respond to physical stimulation even when we don't want the interaction to occur. You're not overthinking this situation. Your feelings of discomfort and confusion are valid responses to a traumatic experience. It's normal to struggle with processing such events.

This was not your fault. Regardless of any prior interactions or your body's responses, you clearly communicated your boundaries, which were ignored. Your feelings, whatever they may be, are valid. There's no "right" way to feel after such an experience. It might be helpful to speak with a counselor or therapist who specializes in trauma and sexual harm. They can provide professional support as you process this experience.

Take care of yourself and be patient as you navigate this situation. Remember, you have the right to feel safe and have your boundaries respected in all your relationships. If you feel comfortable doing so, it may be beneficial to clearly communicate to this friend how their actions affected you and that such behavior is unacceptable. Whatever you decide, you do not have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or a sexual assault helpline for additional support. Thank you again for your trust in us. You are not alone.