Question

When I was 13, someone older inappropriately touched me. I'm still unsure if the touch was sexual in nature, but it left me feeling confused and angry. I kept quiet about it for a long time, though it made me sad. Will I ever stop feeling guilty about not speaking up sooner?

Answer

Thank you so much for sharing your intimate feelings with us. Feelings of guilt about not speaking up sooner are completely normal, but please know that keeping quiet was not wrong or your fault. Many people stay silent about uncomfortable or traumatic experiences, especially when they happen during childhood. Confusion about the nature of the touch is absolutely valid - our minds and bodies often need time to process experiences that feel violating or uncomfortable. Your courage in exploring these feelings now shows incredible strength.

There are several gentle ways to manage these feelings of guilt. For example, consider writing letters to your younger self, validating their choices and needs at the time. You could also try practicing self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would a friend in the same situation. When guilt feels overwhelming, try grounding techniques like deep breathing or naming things you can see and touch. Remember that silence is a common trauma response - you did what you needed to do to feel safe.

Consider speaking with a trauma-informed counselor who can help you process these feelings and provide additional coping strategies tailored to your experience. They can help you understand that delayed disclosure is incredibly common and doesn't make your experience any less valid. You did what you needed to do to survive and cope, and that was exactly right for you at the time. We appreciate you reaching out. You are not alone