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Survivor story

Name experience

Original story

Namewho now lives in Idaho and owns his own business lied on me to cover the truth from his wife. Name approached me and I had no clue that he was married. Name offered to pay my bills and to take care of me so as far as I knew I was dating him it was long distance but I was dating him. I've never had sex with the man. But then I come to find out that he has a wife and when I found out that he had a wife and that they've had trouble conceiving I felt very guilty so I told her the truth and because I told her the truth and because I told her the truth Name bandy lied on me to cover his lies and him being unfaithful to his wife now keep a mind I did not say it was physical but he did cheat on his wife and when I found out that he was married I tried to do the right thing. So instead because of what he had in his preknob so she wouldn't take everything he decided to lie about me and now I had charges pressed against me because I'm an black black woman who doesn't really have money even though I am educated but he is also a rich white man in this society and as we know rich white men get believed over young black women especially black woman who don't have a lot of money even though we are educated and smart. So he smeared my name and decided to have lots of articles written about me so therefore I can no longer have a career I was in. His wife ended up believing him and I had charges pressed against me and my name smeared and now my reputation, my didn't, my life, and my career are ruined, it's difficult for me to get a job that I know that I deserve with having a 4 year degree from a very accredited respectable college. It's not fair and it's not right all because I told the truth when I found out that he had a wife I'm the one who's paying the price and suffering while he gets to live his good happy it's a good happy wife with no consequences for him too consequences for him cheating on his wife and lying to not only me but to his wife as well.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.