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Survivor story
#731
Original story
I am usually a private person, I dont really share my personal life online. Today, I want to share my story, and hopefully, it will help someone to speak up and/or better protect their kids. I was molested by my own father when I was a child 10-12 years old. I met him when I was 10 and went to live with him to another country with his wife let's just say that they are the worst humans I could ever have met in my life. the wife did not participate in the sexual abuse but she did everything else (mental abuse, physical, verbal, etc) I had the courage to tell her everything my dad did at the beginning she acted like she loved me so much and she was on my side she wanted to help me but she betrayed me, she sided with her husband and they are still together, the moved to the US 7 years ago. Let me also add that I am the product of a rape, this man raped my mom and wanted her to abort me but she did not ( that is why I love my mom so much) My mom told me everything he did to her and of course he denied everything when I confronted him, last year I saw a theraphist for a short period of time and she told me it is important to trust my mom. Recently I asked mom why she sent me to live with him if she knew he was a bad person, she told me she could never imagine that he would dare to something like that to me because I was his daughter, and the situation in Haiti was unberable at the time. I don't resent my mom because I understand why she did it. Moral of the story never send your kids to life with strangers in hope of a better life no matter who that person is. I am also in the US and life is difficult as a single woman, sometime I wish I had a father and knowing he lives so close to me hurts so bad. I was no contact with him for a while but recently I reach out so he could help me but a car battery, I don't want to be friends or anything because I hate him so so much but at the same time if I see a car crash him that might hurt because we have the same blood. Should I be cordial with him or do no contact again?
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.