A Kid Trying to go to School

My name is name and I am currently 21 years old and I . was groomed and sexually abused by a teacher in high school. I started high school very lonely because it was a new environment for me, so I just did my work and didn't interact with people. When I was 15 I was in contact with an older man who was taking advantage me of sexually over the internet. I became severely depressed and anxious after that man stopped talking to me. I tried to tell some friends I had what was going on with me but they didn't understand, I just got gradually worse and worse. I wasn't eating and I was frequently suicidal and I realized that I needed help. I couldn't go to my family so the next best choice was someone in school, a trusted adult. That year I was in Algebra 2 and my teacher was pretty cool, so I said to myself ill tell him about my mental health. I thought he could help me. It was a few days after a big test and I told him I needed help that I didn't know what to do. I remember him asking me what I needed and I disclosed that I was very depressed and thinking about suicide all the time. He assured me that I wasn't going to be alone anymore and that he’d do what he could for me. It was the first time someone was listening and I felt hopeful. After that day we talked everyday until late at night sometimes. He would tell me that he loved me and how proud he was of me. He was always really nice to me and making sure I was laughing. He would buy me food sometimes, give me so much attention and physical affection. He would always give me hugs which at first made me uncomfortable, but after he kept doing it I started to like it. At first our conversations would be about how I was feeling and it graduated to us talking about mostly everything. By the time I was 16 he would comment on my body, make jokes about me being a virgin, and talk about sex with me. He would always tell me we're friends, he made it so that I would trust him and go with everything he said. Something else he would always say is that he is always right and I believed it. He became my best friend. When I turned 17 that's when he initiated more sexual conversation and content. He touched me for the first time in his car, I was really scared because he wasn't acting like himself and he didn't ask. Things elevated from there where he would touch me and say it was an accident or blame me for “letting it happen”. He ended up raping me more than once and stealing my virginity. I remember he said he was so proud of me that day. After he had just finished assaulting me he was so proud. Unfortunately it took me a few years to realize what happened to me. Never in a million years did I think he would do such a horrible thing to me. He was an adult that was supposed to protect me instead he is who I needed protection from.