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Survivor story

freshman year

Original story

Message to a Survivor

Be confident, your feelings are valid, trust your heart.

Message of Healing

Healing is time, and time spent creating new memories to make up for the bad ones. Acceptance is healing, friendship is healing, and most importantly spreading the love.

I met him on y move in day college, we became friends, then more than friends. He was talking to multiple other girls and would leave bruises on me like it was nothing. I felt the physical and emotional pain of what I thought was love. I was drinking with friends and he was in and out of the room "checking up" on me and making me drinks. All of a sudden I was blackout drunk and could not walk down to my room only one floor down. My friends locked me in my room so he could not get to me and somehow he managed to get the key and came in. The next day, I woke up with my vagina bleeding and I thought I had gotten my period, but it went away after a few minutes. I waited until the next day to get a rape kit done at he hospital and report the previous abuse and to let them know what had happened on the night of Date, which was the day that ruined college for me. He was arrested, let out of jail, and is now back home going to school near him. Between hiring private investigators to watch me it angers me how is he allowed to move on with his life while I am sitting here scared to come out of my building.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.