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Survivor story

Did she do anything wrong?

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Message of Healing

I dunno. I'm 3 yrs off hard drugs and though shit like this would happen in addiction I work hard to respect myself now and demand respect from others.

I took a female friend to the rainbow gathering (camp out) for a few days cuz she'd never been. I have a camper van with comfortable living & amenities. My kindness was taken advantage of but I have responsibilities in that cuz I opened myself up for it. What bothering me so bad is... I gave her no reason to think anything sexual would happen between us (not to mention I was on my period) at any point. We had a 3some with a shared interest 2 months ago but she got weird about it so I stopped all sexual contact w her after that. In the week long trip I often slept elsewhere cuz there was little room in my bed for me. The last night we were at the gathering I was on 5 hits of acid and it was pouring down rain off n on. I crawled into my bed hours after she did making sure her dog was between us. I wasn't really asleep and I felt her hand creeping. I tried to pretend I was asleep n move to block a few times but she didn't stop til she touched between my legs, I did have my ants on. Finally I jumped and yelled. She said she was trying to make sure I wasn't laying on her dog but that's bullshit. I would never lat a man in my bed that would cross boundaries like that and if a man did do that to me I'd have kicked him in the face a few times then let the boys handle it. But this was a woman I took to rainbow and felt my responsibility to make sure she was a safe and comfortable. Now I feel totally disrespected & violated in my home and body. I make sure men aren't around that will make me feel unsafe anymore and I really didn't expect this from a woman. I even slept in the chair last night. Am I being outta line? Then yesterday she said a couple times that she hoped another male friend of ours didn't feel taken advantage of when she had sex with him while he was drunk cuz he's been distant from her since that night... Her & I had talked about that weeks ago and I told her that he's not usually offended by women coming onto him even if drunk. But why would she bring it up twice again the very next day? I drove all day and night to get her back to her car and politely asked her to get her things outta my van and leave though I gave her a different reason. Am I just being crazy here?

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