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Survivor story
A flame providing warmth is much more beloved than one burning a house down
Original story
Message to a Survivor
It will get better. Maybe today the burden will be too heavy to carry, but slowly but surely as you drop particle by particle of it. You'll be able to fit it in a locket and forget about it. Don't ever be ashamed of yourself. Keep telling yourself to stop blaming yourself till it becomes a reality. Remember, what happened to you says more about the perpetuator than it says about you. So move on with all the strength you have in you. Ask for as much support as you need. Motivate yourself by the prospect of helping people with the same issues as yourself once you've reached a certain stage in your healing and empower yourself by the stories and experiences of others. Be a candle in the dark. Soothing. Enlightening. A path to truth. Supporting. A danger to those who don't handle you appropriately. (JKJKJK BE LAWFUL GUYS. TRUST ME, REVENGE IS NOT COOL OR WORTH ALL THE TROUBLE I SWEAR)
Message of Healing
Healing to me is to be able to love myself and to stop looking at the incident with disgust or shame. Actually to stop looking back on the incident altogether. Being alright with touch and being able to look at my triggers and not freak out. Stop generalizing people and assuming all exist to hurt me. To be able to help others and to be able to share my story openly with no sense of shame or worry.
Hey. Name here. I guess most would know this is not my real name. I feel comfortable using it though. I am from India. I was sexually abused by my grandfather from a young age. I didn't realize it was wrong or bad at the beginning. I thought it was how people expressed love. Foolish I know. Then I was in denial. His touch felt wrong, but he was family. Someone I could trust. A person who was included in the circle of people who would never hurt me according to my parents. So I believed he was right. It took years to realize that what he did wasn't right. Even then I blamed myself. I still loved him (in the limits of a granddaughter. ) I thought it was my fault and not his. I wanted to tell someone, but everyone loved him so much and respected him so much. I thought they would believe him. I let him manipulate me emotionally and forcefully exploit me . He died later. I vowed myself to forget about it and not to even think about it and pushed the memories to the back of my mind whenever they even remotely resurfaced. Years of doing that, I could not do it anymore. The memories started to haunt me for a couple days before I broke down. It was the first time I cried abt what happened. I broke down at school. Could not stop crying the entire day. I told one of my close friends what happened. I honestly expected her to cut ties after hearing abt it, cause I still blamed myself for the incident. I was disgusted with myself and still felt his touch and felt like cutting burning and mutilating my skin to get rid of it. ( I was already struggling with self harm for quite a while at the time) It took a year to put even the smallest of blame on him. And another to put the entire blame on him. I still struggle with touch and feelings of disgust and self hatred and blame due to the incident, but I'm getting better day by day. I hate all white clothing and Old men and sometimes women too. Especially wrinkly hands. Ugh disgusting. I get scared for every small noise and sometimes jump up for no reason and get agitated for no reason. But I'm at a far better place than I was And will continue to move forward and give myself sufficient time to heal. I hope you do to. Stay kind Everybody
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.