Is this assault or am I being dramatic? I went to see a therapist for an eating disorder, but most sessions he would ask me questions about my sex life and advised me to practice with toys so I'd be ready when I met someone. He also used to touch my thighs. It happened several years ago, but I forgot he touched me until recently. I do fear I'm being over dramatic about it though and it wasn't that bad, and maybe I'm just being too sensitive about it. My eating disorder did get way worse though, because I wanted to talk about that and not about sex. I've been told that since I'm an adult, the talking doesn't count as assault although inappropriate, but now I remembered the touching, and I don't know if that does. It feels so confusing, and I don't know why it's bothering me so much now, when I was fine before.

Thank you so much for trusting us with this. I am so sorry to hear about what you've been through. Your feelings are completely valid, and you are absolutely not being overly dramatic or too sensitive. What you experienced matters.

What you've described sounds like a profound violation of professional boundaries and therapeutic ethics that caused you real, lasting harm. A therapist's sacred role is to provide a safe, professional space focused entirely on your healing, not to sexualize the therapeutic relationship or touch you inappropriately. From what you've shared, your therapist crossed professional boundaries that should never, ever be crossed. Asking intrusive questions about your sex life, suggesting you use toys to prepare for future relationships, and touching your thighs are all deeply inappropriate behaviors in any therapeutic setting. These actions represent serious professional misconduct and constitute both sexual harassment and, in the case of the unwanted touching, sexual assault.

When someone in a position of power and trust touches you in a sexual manner without your consent, that is assault regardless of the context, your age, or how much time has passed. Being over 18 doesn't make his actions acceptable or less harmful. Everyone has the fundamental right to feel safe and respected, especially when seeking help from a professional. The inappropriate sexual conversations, while perhaps not legally defined as assault, represent serious violations that created a harmful, exploitative environment when you were at your most vulnerable.

It's completely understandable that your eating disorder worsened during this time. You came seeking help for something specific and deeply personal, only to have your sessions hijacked by inappropriate sexual focus. The fact that your symptoms got worse because sessions became about sexual topics rather than your actual needs shows the direct, measurable impact of this misconduct on your wellbeing. This therapist failed you profoundly when you needed proper care most.

It's also completely normal and understandable that you're remembering and processing this now, even years later. Sometimes, our minds protect us by suppressing or minimizing traumatic memories until we're in a safer space emotionally to process them. The fact that you initially "forgot" the touching doesn't make it less real or serious. This is actually an incredibly common trauma response that many survivors experience. Our brains are remarkably protective, and sometimes our eating disorders or other coping mechanisms can mask or delay our processing of other traumas. This might explain why these feelings and memories are surfacing now as you work on your recovery journey.

Your nervous system and emotions are responding appropriately to a real violation that happened to you. You deserved proper, ethical treatment focused on your eating disorder, not sexual exploitation disguised as therapy. The confusion you're feeling makes complete sense. When someone who was supposed to help us causes harm instead, it can feel disorienting and make us question our own perceptions.

You're allowed to feel upset, angry, confused, or any other emotion about what happened, regardless of how much time has passed. Your feelings about this experience are not only valid but important signals that deserve to be honored and processed. I know that considering therapy again might feel terrifying after what you experienced. That's completely understandable and so many survivors feel this way. When someone who was supposed to be a safe person violated that trust so deeply, it makes sense that the thought of being vulnerable with another therapist would feel scary.

If and when you feel ready, seeking support from a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in both eating disorders and sexual trauma could be helpful, but there's absolutely no pressure or timeline for this decision. You get to move at your own pace and make choices that feel right and safe for you. In the meantime, you might consider reaching out to someone you trust to talk about this like a friend, family member, or calling a support hotline where you can process these difficult realizations without the commitment of ongoing therapy until you feel more ready. These conversations can be a gentle first step in your healing without the vulnerability that formal therapy requires right now.

You might also want to consider reporting this former therapist to their licensing board when and if you feel ready, as what they did was both illegal and unethical. However, this decision is completely yours to make on your own timeline. There's no pressure to take any particular action - your healing and wellbeing come first, and you deserve to focus on what feels manageable and supportive for you right now.

You deserve care, respect, and proper therapeutic support. Your healing matters deeply, and you have every right to seek the help you originally went looking for. Thank you for reaching out to us with this. You are not alone.