Is it still sexual assault if it was my sister, and she didn't have malicious intent? When I was around 15, my sister grabbed my buttcheek. She'd done it before but it only really felt bad this specific time. Everyone I know considers this sexual assault, but I feel like I'm appropriating the term calling it that. I feel like it's not because: she was my sister, she was only a year older, it was so statistically improbable, she didn't have malicious intent, and I've read about others with worse experiences who didn't label their experiences as sexual assault.

Thank you for sharing this experience and your thoughtful reflection on it. Navigating uncomfortable physical interactions with family members can be confusing, especially when trying to understand how to contextualize what happened.

What you're describing is a situation where a boundary was crossed that made you uncomfortable. Your discomfort with the experience is valid, regardless of how it might be labeled. Many sibling interactions during adolescence involve boundary testing, and sometimes siblings may not understand the impact of their actions.

The context you've provided—that this was your sister who was close in age, without malicious intent—is important information that helps frame the interaction. Family dynamics often include complex patterns of behavior that may not fit neatly into specific categories.

It's worth noting that trauma isn't a competition. Comparing your experience to others or wondering if your situation "counts" enough can sometimes prevent us from acknowledging our own genuine feelings. Your experience doesn't need to meet certain criteria of severity to be valid or worthy of support. Different people process similar experiences in different ways.

Rather than focusing on whether this fits a particular definition, it might be more helpful to consider how you can address these feelings and establish clearer boundaries moving forward. Understanding why this particular incident felt different from previous times could provide insight into your own developing sense of personal boundaries.

What's most important isn't necessarily finding the perfect label, but rather acknowledging how the experience affected you and seeking appropriate support if needed. Some people find that naming their experience helps them process it, while others prefer to describe what happened without using specific terms. Either approach is valid.

If this experience continues to trouble you, it might be helpful to discuss it with a trusted adult, counselor, or therapist who can provide guidance specific to your situation. Remember that your feelings about what happened are valid, and you get to decide how to interpret and process your own experiences in a way that feels right and healthy for you. Thank you for reaching out to us. We appreciate your trust.