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Is it still considered childhood-on-child-sexual abuse (COCSA) if I was forced to say yes during the experience?

Answer written by a PhD Prepared Mental Health Nurse

Thank you for reaching out with this important question. I'm sorry to hear that you're grappling with such a difficult and confusing experience. Consent must be given freely, willingly, and without any form of pressure, manipulation, or coercion. If you were forced to say "yes," then genuine consent was not present. Being forced to give consent is not true consent at all--it is coercion and it completely invalidates any verbal agreement you may have given.

In situations involving child-on-child sexual activities, if one child pressures, coerces, or forces another into agreeing, it still constitutes child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA). The fact that you were compelled to say "yes" does not make the experience any less serious or any less valid. True consent requires the freedom to say no without fear of consequences, threats, or pressure. When someone forces you to agree to sexual activity, whether through physical force, emotional manipulation, threats, or any other form of coercion, they are taking away your agency and your right to make a genuine choice about your own body.

It's incredibly common for survivors to question the validity of their experiences, especially when coercion was involved and it's completely normal to have questions and mixed emotions about this. You might feel confused, upset, or unsure about how to label what happened, and that's okay. These feelings are completely understandable, but they don't change the reality of what happened to you. 

Your feelings and experiences are important, and acknowledging them is a significant step toward understanding and healing. If you feel comfortable, consider reaching out to a trusted adult, friend, or professional who can provide guidance and help you process your feelings. You're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Thank you for trusting us with this.

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