I feel like it's too late for healing, and that I should have opened up about my trauma before. How do you shift from that mindset?

This is a really tough place to be in and we appreciate you reaching out and trusting us with these feelings. That weight of feeling "too late" for healing is something many survivors struggle with. Please know you're not alone in this experience. It's never too late to begin this journey, even though I completely understand why it might feel that way.

I want to start by acknowledging the immense strength it takes to even consider healing and to voice these feelings. The fact that you're questioning this shows that a part of you is reaching toward growth, even if another part feels uncertain. Both of these parts deserve to be heard and honored.

Let me share some approaches that other survivors have found helpful in shifting this mindset. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't...healing is extremely personal.

When those thoughts about it being "too late" arise, try to pause and speak to yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a dear friend who just trusted you with their story. What would you say to them? Would you tell them it's too late for their healing? This sort of "inner child work" is a great way to take steps towards being more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves.

Some survivors find it helpful to have physical reminders of this. For example, placing a hand on their heart and saying: "My pain knows no timeline. My healing belongs to me, and I can begin exactly where I am." While this might feel unfamiliar at first, these small gestures of self-compassion can slowly help reshape our internal dialogue. You might even place gentle reminders around your space - perhaps sticky notes with messages like "I deserve care at any age" or "My healing journey is my own." 

Consider starting with just today. Rather than viewing healing as one overwhelming journey, ask yourself: "What's one tiny thing I could do today to show care to myself?" Maybe it's taking three deep breaths, drinking a glass of water mindfully, or feeling the sun on your face for a moment. 

Finally, if it feels accessible, try building what some survivors call a 'proof collection' - small pieces of evidence that change is possible at any time. These might be stories of others who began their healing journey later in life, or tiny shifts you've noticed in yourself. You might even find it helpful to keep a small notebook for moments when you feel even slightly more connected to yourself or hopeful. These don't need to be big moments - perhaps just noticing the warmth of your morning coffee, or feeling soothed by the sound of rain.

Please know that every time you question these limiting thoughts, every time you reach out as you've done here, every time you consider the possibility of healing - these are already steps on your journey. You've already begun. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.