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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your experience with us. Reaching out for help - even anonymously - shows incredible courage. You're taking an important step, and I am happy to share some potential options with you as I understand them, although I am not a legal expert.
Let me first affirm: what happened to you is not your fault. Groomers are skilled manipulators who deliberately build trust to exploit others. The fact that you only have limited information about this person - a first name and some messages - is very common and absolutely should not discourage you from reporting if that is the choice you would like to make.
When survivors ask about reporting with limited information, they often worry their report "isn't enough" or "won't make a difference." This may not be the case. Law enforcement and child protection agencies have extensive experience building cases from what might seem like small pieces of information. Every report helps create a more complete picture, as groomers often have multiple victims and patterns of behavior that can be connected through various reports.
The primary reporting channel I recommend for your situation is Cybertip.ca, Canada's national tipline for reporting online exploitation. When you make an anonymous report, you'll receive a report number that lets you follow up if you choose to, while maintaining your privacy. The system is designed to protect your identity while still allowing for effective investigation.
For cross-border situations where the perpetrator is in the US, Cybertip.ca works closely with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) in the United States. These organizations have well-established protocols for handling international cases, so don't let the cross-border nature of the situation deter you.
If you prefer to report locally in Alberta, you have several options that prioritize your safety and anonymity:
Before making your report, try to gather what information you can, but please know that anything you have is valuable:
Remember that investigators are trained to work with partial information. They can often uncover additional details through digital forensics that reveal IP addresses and account connections, pattern analysis of communication styles, links to other reports with similar characteristics, and technical data associated with messages and accounts.
Most importantly, please know that you deserve support through this process. While you can report anonymously, you don't have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to a sexual assault support service - they can provide confidential guidance and even help you through the reporting process if you'd like. In Alberta, the Association of Alberta Sexual Assault Services (AASAS) has a toll-free support line (1-866-403-8000) as well as an online chatline.
If you have any questions or need assistance with reporting, don't hesitate to contact Cybertip.ca directly. They're there to help you every step of the way. Take things one step at a time. Making a report is a significant step, and it's okay to feel uncertain or anxious about it. You are not alone.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.