When I was young, my older brother said he wanted to pass a health class quiz and needed to know about female anatomy. I said no but he insisted, saying "fine if you don't want to help your big brother" and I gave in. This happened a few times with him looking and touching. Is this considered child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) or just normal curiosity?

I'm so sorry to hear about this experience you had when you were little. It's completely understandable to feel unsure about assigning a label to what happened, especially since it involved a family member who was also still young at the time. What you've described involves concerning elements that may go beyond typical childhood curiosity, and I want you to know that your feelings about this experience are valid, whatever they may be.

Even when siblings are curious, and even if they don't fully understand the impact of their actions, what you described can still have real effects on how you feel about your body and your boundaries. Children naturally explore and ask questions about the world, but when one child is older, more persistent, and doesn't respect a "no," it can cross into harmful behavior. When we look at childhood sexual behaviors, experts consider several factors: the age difference between children, the presence of coercion or pressure, and whether one child used their power or authority over another.

You showed that you were uncomfortable by saying no, and your brother continued to insist and use guilt to get his way. That pressure and disregard for the boundary you tried to set, especially given your young age, reflect a violation rather than simple curiosity. Whether your brother fully understood what he was doing or acted with deliberate manipulation, the impact on you was real. This pressure, combined with the inherent power dynamic between an older and younger sibling, moves this beyond normal childhood exploration. Healthy childhood curiosity typically involves children of similar ages, is mutual without coercion, and stops when one child says no or becomes uncomfortable.

It might help to remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong. You were a child trying to navigate a situation that felt confusing. The fact that this happened multiple times after you had already expressed reluctance further shows this wasn't your fault. What matters most is how this experience affected you then and how it continues to make you feel now. If you still find it unsettling or upsetting, you have every right to explore those feelings and seek support.

You might not need to use any particular term to describe what happened to you. While labels can sometimes be helpful in understanding our experiences and connecting with resources and support, what's most important is processing any harm that occurred and looking forward to healing. Remember that it's the effect on you that truly matters, and you didn't deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable or coerced in any way. Some people decide to talk to someone they trust or reach out to a professional who understands childhood sexual experiences and their ongoing impact on your life. You are not alone, and there are people who care about your well-being and want to help if you ever feel ready to reach out for more support. Thank you for trusting us with this. We appreciate you.