When I was a child, my sister would create private spaces where she would make me kiss her and touch intimate parts of her body, and she would touch me in similar ways during bath time. I'm wondering if this would be considered sexual assault.

Thank you for sharing your story. Only you can decide how to label your own experiences, and whatever words feel right to you are valid. However, the elements you've described (for example: being made to engage in sexual touching and kissing as a child, having someone touch your intimate parts without your consent) are concerning behaviors that many people would recognize as sexual abuse. These experiences can have lasting impacts regardless of what we choose to call them.

It's completely understandable that your memories might be fragmented or unclear. This is actually very common with childhood trauma, especially sexual trauma. Our brains often protect us by not storing every detail of painful experiences. The fact that you don't remember everything perfectly doesn't make what happened to you any less real or significant.

Many survivors of childhood sexual experiences involving siblings struggle with questions about whether their experience "counts" or was "serious enough." These doubts are normal, especially when the other person involved was also a child. What happened to you was not your fault, and you deserved to be safe and protected during your childhood.

The impact of sibling sexual experiences can be particularly complex because it often involves someone who was also a child at the time and may have been acting out behaviors they themselves had been exposed to or experienced. Children who engage in sexual behaviors with other children are often responding to their own trauma, exposure to inappropriate sexual content, or lack of proper boundaries and education. This doesn't excuse the harm caused, but it can help explain the context. Your sister, as a child herself, may not have fully understood the impact of her actions or had the developmental capacity to recognize the harm she was causing. Many children who engage in these behaviors later feel tremendous guilt and shame about their actions as they mature and better understand appropriate boundaries.

This complexity can create confusing feelings of loyalty, guilt, anger, and grief that are entirely normal responses. You might find yourself feeling protective of your sister while also feeling hurt by what happened, or struggling with anger toward someone you also care about. These contradictory feelings are completely understandable and don't diminish the validity of your experience or your right to feel hurt.

If you're finding that these experiences are affecting your life today, please know that healing is possible. Many survivors find it helpful to work with a trauma-informed therapist who has experience with childhood sexual experiences and understands the unique dynamics of sibling situations. You deserve support, validation, and the opportunity to process these experiences in whatever way feels right for you. Thank you for trusting us with this.