Question

The person who was grooming me recently ended contact, saying he wanted to change and improve himself. I'm experiencing conflicting emotions - anger and resentment, but also relief since I had hoped he would seek help. I feel confused about these mixed feelings and question whether I'm being selfish for having them. How do I process these complex emotions about someone who harmed me but claims to want to change?

Answer

Thank you for reaching out to us. It's completely understandable to have a mix of emotions in this situation. Feeling resentful, angry, glad, and confused all at once doesn't make you selfish—it makes you human.

You've been through a complex and difficult experience, and it's normal to have conflicting feelings when someone who has caused you harm says they want to change and then leaves. On one hand, you might have hoped for them to get better, and on the other, you might feel hurt by their actions and the impact they've had on your life.

It's important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up. There's no right or wrong way to process this. Be gentle with yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust, whether it's a friend, family member, or a professional who can offer support. You don't have to navigate these feelings alone.

Remember, your wellbeing matters, and taking care of yourself is a priority. Allow yourself the time and space you need to heal and make sense of everything. We are thinking of you. You are not alone.