Question

The harm I experienced happened 4 years ago. I'm no longer in contact with the friend who did it - all my friends cut contact with them for similar reasons after I finally told them everything. They were supportive. While I'm mostly fine now and everything seems resolved, I still think about it often. How do I move forward when it's 'over'? Should I just try to forget about it?

Answer

This is a really great question. Thank you for trusting us with it. Healing from trauma doesn't mean forgetting - it's natural that these memories still surface. What you experienced was significant, and while having supportive friends and distance from the person who harmed you are important steps, they don't erase the impact. Many survivors find that even after the acute crisis is "over," they still sometimes continue to process their experiences through recurring thoughts, emotions, or memories. This isn't a sign that you're "stuck" or doing something wrong - it's your mind continuing to make sense of what happened.

Remember that healing isn't a linear journey. You might find certain life stages, relationships, or experiences trigger these memories in new ways. This is completely normal. The key is finding balance - allowing yourself to experience joy and live fully while also acknowledging that sometimes you'll need space to process difficult emotions. Both reactions are valid parts of your healing journey.

Moving forward looks different for everyone. You might find healing through acknowledging these thoughts without judgment, talking with a counselor about coping strategies, exploring creative outlets, or connecting with other survivors when ready. You've already shown incredible strength in speaking up and setting boundaries. Now you get to heal at your own pace, in your own way. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.