I've noticed in discussions about child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) that most cases seem to involve victims who are young children or early teens (up to age 14). Does this mean that incidents involving older teens aren't considered COCSA, or are they just less commonly reported? I'm trying to understand how age affects how these experiences are categorized and recognized.

Thank you for asking this. The age at which someone experiences unwanted or abusive sexual contact doesn't determine whether it was harmful or valid. While many reported cases of COCSA involve younger victims, this doesn't mean that experiences involving older teens are any less serious or impactful.

There are several reasons why reported cases might show this pattern. Younger children may be more vulnerable and less able to recognize or resist inappropriate behavior. Older teens might be less likely to report their experiences due to shame, confusion about what happened, or fear of not being believed. Additionally, incidents between older teens might sometimes be categorized differently in research or clinical settings, particularly as they approach the legal age of consent. This can create a complex grey area where experiences might be legally viewed one way but still be emotionally or psychologically harmful.

Societal understanding of childhood and adolescence also plays a role in how these experiences are categorized. Teenagers often occupy a complex space between childhood and adulthood, which can affect how their experiences are labeled and understood. When teens are in dating relationships, similar harmful experiences might be categorized as dating violence or sexual assault rather than COCSA, even though the dynamics and impact may be similar.

What's most important is not the age at which something happened or how it's labeled, but rather the impact it had and continues to have on you. If you experienced unwanted sexual contact as an older teen, those experiences and their effects are just as valid and deserving of support as those of younger survivors.

If you're trying to make sense of your own experiences, please know that there are trauma-informed professionals who understand these complexities and can help you process what happened, regardless of the age at which it occurred. Thank you for reaching out to us. You are not alone.