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I was making progress recovering from childhood sexual trauma, but recently I've found myself regressing. I'm experiencing intrusive thoughts about the trauma, especially during intimate moments, which forces me to stop. I'm questioning my experiences and their validity, and find myself constantly ruminating. This feels like a major setback, especially since there's no clear trigger. Why might this regression be happening, and how can I maintain motivation for recovery when progress isn't linear?

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings. This really resonates with me and I am sure for many others who might be reading this. It's completely understandable to feel discouraged when old emotions resurface, especially after you've been making progress in your healing journey. Recovery from childhood trauma often isn't a straight line, and (while frustrating) it's common to experience ups and downs along the way.

Sometimes, distressing feelings can reemerge without an obvious reason, and that can be confusing. It's important to remember that this doesn't diminish the progress you've already made. What happened to you was traumatic and takes time to overcome. Healing is a process, and just because you are experiencing setbacks, doesn't mean you're back at the beginning.

Intrusive thoughts and ruminations can be particularly challenging, especially when they affect your daily life and relationships. Doubting your experiences and their validity is also a common response to trauma. Try to remind yourself that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to acknowledge them.

Staying motivated during tough times can be difficult, but here are a few practices that might help:

1. Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that it's okay to have tough days and that healing takes time.

2. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practices like deep breathing, meditation, or focusing on your senses can help bring you back to the present moment when you start to feel overwhelmed.

3. Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Doing things that bring you joy or a sense of accomplishment can help shift your focus and improve your mood.

4. Connect with Supportive People: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who understand and can offer encouragement.

5. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and identify any patterns or triggers.

6. Professional Support: If you haven't already, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your situation.

Remember, experiencing a setback doesn't erase the progress you've made. Each step, even the difficult ones, is part of your journey toward healing. You're showing great strength by acknowledging how you feel and seeking ways to move forward. You're not alone. Thank you for trusting us with this

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.