I need help understanding an experience from my youth. When I was 11-12, my sister (3 years older) began inappropriately touching my chest, first over clothes and then under them. She also had me touch her in similar ways, which made me uncomfortable though I complied to play along. She would make comments like 'My body reacted to how you touched it' (which I didn't understand until later) and called them 'stress balls.' While I was uncomfortable, I didn't recognize it as sexual at the time - it just bothered me like someone pinching you would. This continued until I was 16 (she was 19). I actually forgot about it for a while, but now at 20, I've started reflecting on how inappropriate it was - I can't imagine doing something similar to a 16-17 year old, and seeing normal sibling interactions makes me uncomfortable as I think about what happened. I'm trying to understand this experience better.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Based on what you shared, it sounds like your older sister engaged in behaviors that made you feel uncomfortable, even if you didn't fully understand why at the time. Touching someone's body without clear and enthusiastic consent, especially in intimate ways, crosses personal boundaries. The fact that you felt uneasy but went along with it to "play along" indicates that your boundaries were not respected.

It's natural that you didn't relate these actions to something sexual at that age, especially if you didn't fully understand what was happening. Childhood and adolescence are times when we're still learning about our bodies and boundaries. As you've grown older and gained more understanding, it's normal to reevaluate past experiences through a new lens. Feeling discomfort or even disgust now is a valid response as you recognize that what happened wasn't appropriate.

Only you can decide how to label your experiences, but it's important to acknowledge that your feelings of unease suggest that your personal boundaries were violated. This could fall under the category of inappropriate or non-consensual touching, regardless of the labels used. The key is that your feelings matter, and what happened has had an impact on you.

If you're finding it difficult to process these memories or if they're causing you distress, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or counselor. They can provide a safe and confidential space for you to explore your feelings and help you navigate through this complex situation.

Remember, you're not alone, and it's okay to seek support. Be gentle with yourself as you work through these emotions. Thanks for reaching out to us. We hope this provided a bit of clarity for you.