Question

I find myself being triggered by seemingly unrelated things, including certain words that aren't inherently sexual. Everyday triggers keep bringing up memories of past experiences. How can I manage these unexpected reminders?

Answer

Thank you for bringing up something that many survivors experience but often feel confused or alone about. It's completely normal for our brains to create associations between past experiences and seemingly unrelated words, sounds, smells, or situations. These connections might not make logical sense, but they're actually our brain's way of trying to keep us safe by staying alert to anything it associates with past experiences.

Think of it like your brain's alarm system becoming extra sensitive - it's trying to protect you, even though it might be responding to things that aren't actually threatening. This can be exhausting and frustrating, especially when the triggers appear in everyday situations or conversations.

Here are some ways to work with these experiences:

First, try to be patient with yourself when these reactions happen. They're not a sign of weakness or that you're "stuck" - they're a normal response to significant experiences. Some people find it helpful to quietly acknowledge to themselves: "I'm having a reaction right now. This is my brain trying to protect me."

Some practical strategies that others have found helpful:

• Grounding techniques (feeling your feet on the floor, naming things you can see)
• Carrying a small object you can hold or touch when triggered
• Having a simple phrase ready to use if you need to step away from a situation
• Gentle breathing exercises that help remind your body you're safe in the present

If you're comfortable, keeping a private note of what triggers you can help identify patterns. This isn't to avoid triggers (which isn't always possible), but to help you feel more prepared and in control when you encounter them. You might also consider working with a trauma-informed therapist to develop personalized strategies for managing triggers. They can help you understand why certain words or situations affect you and create a toolkit of responses that work for your specific situation.

Remember, healing isn't about never being triggered - it's about building a gentle, supportive relationship with yourself when these moments happen. Thank you so much for asking this question. You are not alone.