A friend I've known since middle school has done things that make me question whether it's normal friend behavior or sexual harassment. We used to joke about dating, which led to unwanted touching like putting fingers in my mouth and kissing me without permission. More recently, this friend has been groping me, and I haven't told them to stop. Is this sexual harassment or just friend behavior?

Thank you for reaching out and sharing what's been happening. It's completely understandable to feel unsure about this situation, and your instincts to question these actions are completely valid. Navigating friendships and personal boundaries can be challenging, especially when actions make you feel uncomfortable.

From what you've described, your friend has been touching you in ways without asking for your consent. Even if you didn't tell her to stop, these actions cross personal boundaries and are not typical friend behavior. Many people freeze, feel confused, or don't know how to respond in the moment when boundaries are crossed, especially when it involves someone they care about or trust. Your reaction is completely normal and doesn't make these interactions any less inappropriate.

Consent and mutual agreement are important in any kind of physical interaction, whether it's with friends, acquaintances, or anyone else. Just because you're friends doesn't automatically make all forms of touch acceptable, and the fact that you two joked about dating doesn't create permission for physical contact you didn't actually agree to. Consent needs to be clear, ongoing, and freely given—not assumed based on jokes, past interactions, or silence. Everyone has the right to their personal space and to express how they feel about being touched.

It's important to reflect on how these interactions make you feel. If they make you uncomfortable, confused, or unsure, those feelings are valid and worth acknowledging. You have every right to set boundaries and communicate them to your friend. Consider having an open and honest conversation with her about how her actions have affected you. You might say something like, "I feel uncomfortable when you touch me without asking. Can we talk about this?" Sharing your feelings can help her understand your perspective and may improve your friendship.

If you're unsure about handling this on your own, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult who can provide support and guidance. You deserve to feel safe and respected in all your relationships, and you deserve relationships where your boundaries are respected. Protecting your own well-being and bodily autonomy is always okay, even when it feels complicated because of existing friendships. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.