whatever happened, it's valid.

I was touched on multiple occasions as a young girl, but I can't remember the face of the man. All I can remember is his skin color and the feelings of what he did. The pain, the emotions -- I remember it all. His touch never left my memory. I may not fully remember where, or who, or what exactly he did. But my body remembers what he did. Those little flashes of what you did is enough. It took me so long until I finally accepted that just because I don't know who touched me, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Doesn't make my experience any less valid. I can say I've been assaulted and admit I don't know by who. Because I may not remember my abuser's face, but I remember the fear, I remember the pain, and I remember the disgust. It took me so long to accept the facts that my body knows more than my mind does, but not all memories are visual. That's okay. That's valid. I don't need to try and pin who it could've been and how it couldn't have been this person. I don't need to know his name, his face, what his connection to me was to know that what happened to me was not okay. I can accept that I don't know who violated me and that I may never know. But I do know what happened. And that's more than enough to be valid.