Sexually used at 11 years old

I understand that sexual abuse at an early age can be unwanted and traumatic but that’s not always the case. Our family had a divorced neighbor woman who often had me at her apartment to babysit her two little toddlers. I was a boy of about 10 or 11 years old and desired being near her because she was very attractive. She had very white skin and light brown hair with blue eyes. She would often walk around in skimpy, revealing clothing such as just her panty with a sheer half-slip pulled over her breasts and nothing else. Sometimes she would take off her clothes in her bedroom with the door open and I could see her undressing. She would pretend I wasn’t even watching from the living room. I still remember a very loose pajama panty, loose around her upper thighs, she wore that often exposed her sex to my young eyes. She once left the bathroom door ajar while she showered knowing I would want to peek at her as she bathed completely nude. I was always sexually aroused around her as a little boy. This went on for maybe a couple of years then one day she put her toddlers to nap during the day and sat next to me on the couch. She started playfully caressing me and pulling down my summer shorts to perform oral sex on me. I was only about 11 or 12 and still completely hairless. We never had intercourse, most likely she didn’t want to risk pregnancy by a young boy, but her orally sexing me went on for about a year or so and I sometimes ejaculated into her mouth or as she fondled me. She encouraged me to play with her breasts and sometimes placed my hand on her pussy to masturbate her. Of course, I was very emotionally overwhelmed especially when this started but I loved it. Eventually my parents moved away, and we lost track of her, but I’ll never forget those experiences and I still masturbate as an adult when I remember her fondly. I was probably traumatized in some way like I’m very addicted to sex and sometimes have some difficulty having an orgasm with women but when I think of Name at such times my orgasm comes easier. But even if I was traumatized, I don’t regret those experiences. They formed a major part of my sexuality.