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Survivor story
Parents Brutal Violence
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Yes
Message of Healing
Healing is something which never makes us to think about the past bitter experiences.
I was 27 old, loved and eloped with a man. I'm from a Tamil family. I realized my mistake. But my mom gave a false complaint to Indian police that I stole all her gold jewelry and ran away. Indian Police caught and hurt me. My mom took me to her house and her own sister bought two unknown men and started brutally torturing me. My mom was sitting on a chair watching me getting me tortured. They brutally beated me with a rod, tore my clothes, stamped me, made me to bleed on my nose and knees, my own grandma plucked my hair and threw away. Her sister was stamping my vagina saying that I am greedy on sex and I was wanting to lick the penis of the man with whom I ran away. My mom didn't stop anyone. They took my certificates, passport and my belongings and locked me in a dirty room for a year with no contact with anyone. I had no food for continuous three days. Everyday they used abusive words calling me a prostitute. I used to get food only once in a day for a whole year. Several days when I sit in the toilet I never use to get normal excretion. Only tiny droplets used to come. I cried a lot. They treated me as a slave dog always abusing me with no humanity. Till the day before I got married I was tortured brutally by her sisters. I wanted to be loyal to my future husband. So I told the truth to him by phone call before marriage whatever happened to me and the reason behind it. My mother was listening to my phone talk and she told her sisters and they took a wooden bar and hit my head hard. Only till that I can remember. Later I totally became mad and mentally unfit. He got shocked the day before marriage that I became mental. But still he never gave up and married me. He got angry and planned to sue everybody. But they apologized and gave back my belongings to him. Right away he took me to abroad and we got settled. He admitted me in a psychiatric clinic and diagnosed with PTSD, I was in sedation. I got treated well and came out of mental illness after a year. It's been 4 years since this happened and I'm unable to forget. I hate my mother and her family to the core. I blocked everybody's contacts and decided to not look at them anymore in my life even if they die. I hate going back to Tamilnadu. Even today I can't remember what happened during the day and after the days of my marriage and how I reached abroad. He showed the photos of our marriage and then only I realized I got married. I really feel blessed to have a loyal Husband. Everyday I'm getting those bitter thoughts and ruining my life. Currently I'm pregnant. Unable to have peaceful sleep. Please someone one advice me to get rid of my past bitter experience??
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.