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This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies.
The content on this page may include descriptions of sensitive topics such as trauma, abuse, and violence and is intended for readers 18 and older. Please take care of yourself as you read.
Original story
To be able to let that feeling rest. Every day I feel like I’m leaking energy. When I remember something bad and I get stressed and I feel like I have to help myself or fix the problem, it sucks my energy away. I want to build a better life for myself where I’m safer and I can enjoy life and help others. I know bad things will happen again, but I’m hoping to heal because I feel like it will help me conserve my strength and energy to make a better life.
My biology teacher teacher sent a print out to my then principal, principal. It was a print out from an erotica website, the print out had text at the top of each page showing this. It was a story about how a daughter cooked bacon baked for her father and got bacon grease splatter on her breast or stomach and they started sex, I stopped reading after this from how sick I felt. teacher sent this print out and a letter to principal, the letter was about how she had received this from me as an assignment when I had been in her class and she was concerned about me and wanted principal to take action and help me. I had taken science class with teacher for 7th and 8th grade. She was claiming that she had received this document and was concerned that I needed to be helped, a year or so later. principal was always good to me. He wasn’t a perfect principal but he wasn’t a bully and he was as good as he could be to me as a kid who frequently was in trouble. He didn’t believe the letter or the phony print out of “my assignment”. He told me I should all a lawyer. I just gave it to my father who put it into a pile in his cluttered office and it was absorbed into the chaos and that was that. It has hurt me every since but it’s one of many things that bother me and drain my strength to be present and to live life. I was not being molested by my father, I was not cooking bacon naked and writing stories about it as an assignment to my science teacher. I was visiting my old school and sitting beside the fence during lunch break so that I could spend time with a boy who was still in that school. His name was name and he was in the grade bellow me. I liked spending time with him because he was happy and handsome and he had a loving supportive family and everything about him made me feel better. So I spent as much time as I could around him. So I would walk from my Highschool and sit outside the fence and he would talk with me during lunch. Then I would leave. teacher had inappropriate ways about her with boys and girls in her classes that I saw in my years as her student. She would be warm and supportive to the boys and very harsh to the girls. I didn’t consider myself a good example of her being unfair because I was a bad student and had discipline issues. But there was a girl in my class who was the opposite of this. namewas very dedicated to her grades, she never had problems with attendance and she didn’t get into trouble because I don’t remember her being interested in breaking rules. She generally was nice and not into picking on other kids or gossip. She was generally nice, she was usually smiling or neutral. I remember the way name's face would show pain and shock from the comments and hostility she got from name. teacher made comments about girls appearances and how they will be sexually active, she was hostile and negative to all of us but especially those that had contact with the boys in class she focused on. teacher was very focused on me throughout the years I knew her as my teacher. It was a very small grade school, it was a private school. She had every opportunity to talk with me or call the police or other services when she wasn’t teacher and claims to have received this assignment. It was a lie. She hurt me throughout the years that she was my teacher and she hurt me badly with this letter and print out she sent to my principal principal. She is a scary and harmful person who has probably effected other kids the way she effected me. principal and future principal were good principals and they did their best for me as a kid with problems. I am grateful to them. In the same way that the memory of teacher name brings me a sick feeling, when I think about principal and future principal, I feel good inside. Thank you doing what you could for me and believing me.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.