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Survivor story
My first relationship and I thought it was love.
Original story
Message to a Survivor
As victims we need to protect ourselves and our minds. Any survivor should know it was never you’re fault. You didn’t dramatize it in your head. Just because someone’s older, younger, or anything different does not count as other wise. You are so strong and loved.
Message of Healing
Healing is an effort I put into my life. Sexual assault does not define me or any person. I am more to my story, and so is everyone else. Periods of when you forget, and the periods where it’s the hardest. All the effort you put counts in today because you made it out alive.
I was sexually assaulted at 13 in the 7th grade by my first boyfriend. it was on multiple occasions throughout when we were dating. I didn’t realize what was wrong until months later. After realizing this, going into a deep hole of depression and feeling hopeless. Even after speaking about my assault. He still continued even in plain sight in school. Teachers and staff never believed me and I was constantly told to stop talking about it because it was seen as "obsessive". I became friends with these two girls and later on, then two went to the office to completely say I lied about my sexual assault. Completely having nobody on my side, and more friends coming to his side. Nobody was there for the multiple occasions he sexually assaulted me. How could so many support someone who did this to me? I get called names and get bullied. Years later, it’s still a joke to some people. Sexual assault still counts even during the occasions you let it happen. You’re body reacts to protect itself, even as a young girl I didn’t think the worst could happen in a young relationship.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.