I thought we were blood.

i AM 18, and WAS 18 when it happened. My older cousin (20) and I have always had this strong siblings like relationship. But that all changed on Date of the year 2025. I was staying the night at his apartment and it felt normal. Just as it did every single time we would hang out. He put a movie on and got some snacks, and he sat down next to me. He sat down next to me to the point in which our legs and shoulders were touching, but that was just normal for us. About 30 minutes into the movie, the two main characters started kissing. The kissing only lasted like 10 seconds, but it was enough to make him feel a certain sexual way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move upwards from the left side of me. I looked down and I saw his "thing" standing straight through his pants. I felt my eye widened and I just couldn't get my eyes off because I was so confused and shocked. He asked me " do you like that?", and I just stared at him. I got up, wanting to run ANYWHERE but THERE, and he reacted quickly, grabbing my hands and lighting me onto his back. He carried me as I kicked and screamed and he took me to his room. In his room, he had a lot of things on his bed: handcuffs, gag toys, vibrators, and dildos. He used one pair of the handcuffs to tie me onto the back of his bed, and another two pairs to tie my feet to the bottom of his bed. My legs were spread open. I was screaming, and he put what I assume was a handkerchief or SOME sort of cloth, into my mouth, which stopped/zoned out a lot of the screaming. He then proceeded to use scissors to cut my clothes off. He licked, fingered, and put things inside me, including "liquid". That night, things started at 7:00, and ended at 9:00. He ended up falling asleep, and for two whole weeks, I was there. Every single day, I would wake up to either having it inside of me and him being on top of me gasping for air (it satisfied him), a toy in or outside of my you know what, or fingers down there. We would fall asleep after almost two hours of that, and in the afternoon, he would do whatever he wanted to me whenever he pleased. PLEASE know that recovery is not easy!! But, it's only harder if you dont TRY to recover the right way! Do not stay quiet, do not go into drugs, do not go into alcohol, talk to somebody! There are people willing to help you out, even if it isn't the people you wish it was.