0
Members
0
Views
0
Reactions
0
Stories read
Need to take a break?
For immediate help, visit {{resource}}
Survivor story
#1268
3 months later
It's been awhile since I last posted. But so far, still going strong. I've connected with old friends, made new ones, traveling to a different country, going to college, and thinking about changing jobs. It's been kind of hectic lately. I was working 3 jobs on top of being a full time parent, so being tired is an understatement. But I'm here, I'm happy that I'm moving forward. I reported my abuser to authorities, which is what prompted me to type out my original post. I had mix feelings about it. I felt shame, hurt, guilt, and anger. I didn't want to go on life hating myself anymore.. I have friends that love and support me. My family loves and adores me. If I don't end up loving myself one day, at least a handful of people do, and that keeps me going
Original story
Message of Healing
I think healing to me means it's in the past, it can't be change. All that can be done now is to move forward, and to not succumb to turmoil and depression. I want to get to a place where I'm actually happy in life and not thinking about what was done to me. Or at least muffle it out with my own success in life that we made it and we're still kicking ass
I like to think I'm alright now. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have my own things in life and my own family. I like to think I'm grounded and unbreakable against the pains of the past. But in all honesty, I'm more fragile, more sensitive, and more complex than ever. What used to be memories I could easily shake off for a day or two, are now all I can think about. It's hard to go to people in the real world who know you, who know what you've been through.. but don't know the weight, pain, and burden of it.. I don't really know how to start off with explaining and describing my abuse and the things that were done to me. I think that's just the mind's way of protecting oneself. Because I'm scared. I'm scared of remembering anything else that was done to me.. I was just 6 years old when it all happened. It started out as pictures. As a young girl, of course I never would've thought this was strange. Now, I feel disgusting, knowing that what happened after these photos would be 3 years worth abuse. Then those 3 years of abuse would snowball to years of hate for myself. I hated myself for so many years. I fell heavily down a dark hole when I realized what was done to me was ugly and disgusting. My abuse caused me to have this very contorted view of myself as a person. I ended up self harming, falling into eating disorders, and taking pills. I stopped planning for the future. I was so convinced I wouldn't make it past a certain age. It's been a long journey looking back. I often wish I can go back in time and tell my younger self, it's a hard battle, but we're still here. I'm still trying.
Just Checking...
Discard Message?
You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it?
0
Members
0
Views
0
Reactions
0
Stories read
Need to take a break?
For immediate help, visit {{resource}}
Please adhere to our Community Guidelines to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.
Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.