This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
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Original story
When I was 12 years old, me and my cousin, who was a few months younger than me, had sex. It was my idea, but we were both willing. At the next sleepover we had, I asked her if she wanted to do it again, and she said no. We were very close for many years but that was the last sleepover we had. 6 years later, it continues to haunt me. When I was 13 or 14 I messaged her on Snapchat to apologise, and she said it was ok but it doesn’t feel ok. I fear it never will. I confessed to a priest and he said God forgave me. I told my best friend. I told my mother and she said it was normal. None of it could quell my burning guilt. On top of that, I’ve developed intrusive - inappropriate - thoughts that follow me like a dark cloud that I cannot shake off. There’s nothing in my life I regret more. I feel like I have completely sullied any opportunity of having positive sexual encounters in the future. Will I ever shake this burden? Do I even deserve to?
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