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Survivor story
#1430
Original story
Message of Healing
Healing would be knowing that she is okay, knowing she isn’t effected/doesn’t remember - but how am I to know this. It would also mean maybe forgiving myself and allowing myself to have a ‘normal’ sex life and not carry such a weight. I just don’t see how this is possible.
Recently memories of my childhood have somehow resurfaced, I feel it may be because of a recent breakup where sex - my low sex drive became quite an issue. These memories include two of my younger sisters. We must have all been under 8, I may have been 7, one 4/5 and the other 2/3. I recall playing games in our rooms under blankets. Making the younger turn and not watch while I somewhat made out with my younger sister. I also recall getting her to apply pressure to my private area. This is causing me so so so much guilt and stress. We may have done this ‘game’ 1-3 times. I feel disgusting that I did this and worry it has effected her. I’m unsure if she remembers and it keeps me up at night knowing I could’ve scared her. It also has left me feeling so disgusted and sorry this has also effected my adult sex life. I don’t want to talk to her about it, and I even feel to ashamed to bring it up with my therapist! I just wish I could know if she remembers or has trauma from it!
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.