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This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
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Survivor story
#1430
Original story
Message of Healing
Healing would be knowing that she is okay, knowing she isn’t effected/doesn’t remember - but how am I to know this. It would also mean maybe forgiving myself and allowing myself to have a ‘normal’ sex life and not carry such a weight. I just don’t see how this is possible.
Recently memories of my childhood have somehow resurfaced, I feel it may be because of a recent breakup where sex - my low sex drive became quite an issue. These memories include two of my younger sisters. We must have all been under 8, I may have been 7, one 4/5 and the other 2/3. I recall playing games in our rooms under blankets. Making the younger turn and not watch while I somewhat made out with my younger sister. I also recall getting her to apply pressure to my private area. This is causing me so so so much guilt and stress. We may have done this ‘game’ 1-3 times. I feel disgusting that I did this and worry it has effected her. I’m unsure if she remembers and it keeps me up at night knowing I could’ve scared her. It also has left me feeling so disgusted and sorry this has also effected my adult sex life. I don’t want to talk to her about it, and I even feel to ashamed to bring it up with my therapist! I just wish I could know if she remembers or has trauma from it!
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