Anon R. My Story.

Hi, i was recommended this site by my therapist...so here we go. okay. it all started when i was 9, My grandparents had moved into NC and stuff etc etc- My grandfather and I were always close. We would do stuff together like lunch, shopping, get candy all that jazz. from years 9-12 I had not realized it, but he was grooming me. He would always tell me things like how special i was to him and how he would buy me things he wouldn't buy my brother or my cousins. It would always happen whenever i would spend the night at my grandparents house. Now my mother had really awful breast cancer at the time, so my dad had to stay by her side and support her in the hospital from time to time and since my brother was too young to babysit me (hes 4 years older by the way) I had to spend the night there. I also suffered from horrid night terrors that kept me awake at night and made me deathly afraid of being alone or in the dark. Sooo, i would share the bed with both my grandparents. You can probably tell where this is going, It was always in bed too. He would touch me around my stomach, chest, more details parts that i wont mention, my pants area etc... I never thought too much of it, Always reassuring myself that it wasnt anything malevolent...no matter how weird or unusual it was. It eventually stopped around when i was 12, when my mom finished chemotherapy and beat her cancer. i was staying at their place less and less. But he would often throw provocative comments my way about my body, such as my chest, my butt- you get it. the comments stopped at 14 when i stood up for myself. he asked me, "Oh dont tell me you dont like play with yourself of please yourself. everyone does it, i just wanna know if you do it." I told him it was gross to ask that, and he scoffed- but he stopped. not too long later that year i was thinking about everything while sitting in my room. Then it hit me. Everything he did, everything he said, was because he was grooming me. I had thrown up that evening, as if my stomach got clubbed by a sledgehammer. It had been maybe 2 or so years since ive come out about what happened. No justice has been served yet, if any at all. My grandparents blame me and my parents for tearing our family apart. I often blame myself too. But I hope and pray to any god out there that he gets exactly what he deserves, in this life or the next.