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Survivor story
A life of hell , isn't just in hell
Original story
Message to a Survivor
To the woman who have gone through this mental damage , An act done by monsters does not define your capability to fight or lose , it takes uncertain amount of self love that will make you stronger and confident because you have already seen what may come in future again and you are ready this time tp fight those monsters . as a child you didn't know what was wrong , right or how could you define this , it only felt bad but as you grow into adult you started to realize the damage , you started to define the abuse that happend with you and acknowledging your situation makes you stronger . don't let these emotions consume you , rather consume your demons !
Message of Healing
It took a lot of struggle and a long time to heal and finally realize that what was done to me was not a reflection on me but, rather it showed how evil the people who had done it to me were… that there actions did not make me “dirty" “ used goods"… that I was nothing more than an innocent child at the hands of sick monsters. Realizing that helped me heal a lot. I'm still pretty screwed up in a lot of ways but, I've come a long way.
i am writing as my younger self , who is only 7/8 years old . i always say my life before 2006 was the only fresh precious moment of my life and after that the struggle of eternity crash on me and it kept getting heavier . it was 2006 we recently shiftd from our home town to the city . a man used to live beside our home and i used to play with his daugter every afternoon ...one day when i went to see her i saw her father watching porn and touching his penis , he noticed me standing before i could leave , at that age i didn't know it was something called porn but whatever it was for me then made me very uncomfortable and created a gwaning feeling intantly ..he asked me to lie with him in his bed ...he held my hand so tightly , it was the most scary moment of my life! i get off his hands from me and ran .....i did not say anything about it to my mother or anyone else . in that same area there was another guy who used to ghost me everytime he saw me. he used to tell me that he will took me away and these things made me crumble inside , i didnt attend my arabic lessons that time . i told my mom that mane is creepy and he scares me but she didn't pay any heed to my concerns . it was 2008 when we moved to the main part of the city ..our landlord one day saw me alone and he grabbed me from behind ...and started touching my chest , rubbing continusly , i was trying to get out of there but he was holding me tightly , he losen his grab when he felt he is done !!!! for all these years i kept living in hell still i coudn't figure out what happend with me , i don't have any definition but it feels so disgusting and disturbing . when i was in class 7 i read online an article "child sexual abuse by pedophile" ...i kept reading that article and every memory of those disgusing moments kept flashing in front of my eyes ! finally i know i have been wronged and i can now have the definition to tell what happen with me . but i could'nt say anything to anyone . i still feel this disgusting feeling and it makes me want to tear my skin off . After this incident i have read more horrible stories , i know i was lucky to get out but the imprints of this disgusting memory aches everywhere . i dont know if i will ever be able to get over !
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.