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Survivor story
#1694
Original story
When i was 14 this guy a year older in my class was white and raised in a european household with parents who didn’t hide kiss scenes when it showed on the tv. They normalized it to the point this kid would try to use me as an object and only saw me with lustful intentions. The things he did physically and online were too many and too overwhelming my brain chose to forget it. Until I realized how my naivety was taken advantage of and he would force me to hang out with him. And take me to places nobody was at and kiss me even when I said no. He would touch me and look up my skirt multiple times and I couldn’t do anything because then he would guilt trip me or diminish what he did and say its normal because his parents casually have condoms in the house all the time so this wasn’t anything. He would always make sexual references and I was uncomfortable and whenever he was physical I couldn’t do anything but cry at home because he would also threaten me with his life as a form of manipulation. Something too much for a 14 year old. I had some sort of flight response where I couldn’t do anything to stop him or tell my friends. It’s been a few years and I’m not sure how to contact his parents and if they’re gonna defend their disgusting son or not. I’m traumatized and don’t know what the next step is because I can’t stand the fact that he just got away with it.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.