#1614

I was working in a restaurant, everyday and at the same time i studied managment. Everything went good everyday the same. After workt i usually stay a little with my coworker Name (really good friend) and the kitchenchef. I mean we talked he always laughed at our jokes because he thought its crazy how we always can laugh toghether, tipical coworker constellation - but we would never stay with them alone (cause when the other kitchen stadf was there they were drinking like crazy and u never really know). One day Name and me were sitting outside talkin, and with us this one kitchencheff and 2 of the kitchenstaff. One of them (Name 2) Stared at me and i really had a bad feeling cause he hates me. He always said he wanted to se me dead or he screamed at me and told me i should finally say im a whore...really weird cause sometimes he whispered (while working) stuff like "I love you ur so hot" "i want a child from u" so a really weird man with really Diabolical eyes. I knew smth was going to happen when i saw Name 2 starring at me like that and Name 3 (kitchenchef) is ignoring me. So i stood up and said i wanted to go. 20 min later Name 2 tried to convince me at least go and talk with him for a minute (he always made smth up) and i went with him cause he really tried to test my fear? Like he loved to see that im scared. I said no only if Name comes with me. Then Name 3 said hes going to and Name whispered (nothing is gonna happen Name 3 is with us he would never let smth happen). So we drove Name home and after that they would let me at the busstation. I mean nothing couldve happen cause Name 3 was there... Yeah so the drama beginns. They disnt even drove me to the busstation, i was gettung scared but u didnt wanted him to see just asked if they could let me out herr bcs i forgot smth in milas purse. Yeah pressure and fear is rising. They were ignoring me both. They drove to an self check in hotel. They said they needed help, made ups a story. They couldnt speak that good german so i helped them in the fear that im in a hotel with them..at least im not going inside i thought.. after helping them Name is already spamming me ob my phone and Name 2 got very stressed after that. I ignored him and said okey im gonna go now. he grabbed my arm and said "come on u dont have to go now we wanted to make party" i said no. I wanted to leave but he just took me with him he really pushed me all the way to this fucking room. I was inside but Name 3 was there too. Im like "no never..." it cant happen cause he would never let this happen. Name 2 just wanted to scare me. i stood there with my jacket, my work clothes shoes and purse. I stared at them. Name 2 directly started to touch me. I said no. He laughed at me. I looked at Name 3 he ignored me. My phone was ringing Name is calling. They took my phone away. i slapped him but he still laughed. I looked at Name 3 and he just said "i dont see anything" meaning Name 2 can do whatever he wants and he did. Very loud music. Cocaine everywhere, on me, in me. He said i need to be more relaxed but i fighted. After the fight i realized nothing is gonna help, not even screaming. I just let it happen. Him and than a change. It was from 22pm to 3 am. When they finished i said nothing. i was quiet and just wanted to go i didnt know where because i didnt wanted to go home with lot of sperm in my hairs. It was disgusting. They just let me go after they finished, they just did it for this moment. i could see J was getting really nervous and A was just laughing and telling me how Hot i am. That im so freaky and sexy that i just confirmed to make a threesome... Never did. I walked away and didnt even look back. It really hurt and i shouldve been at home, i didnt wanted to look at my phone. I just walked and walked untill i saw Name's home. I mean it was 3am but i tried. I didnt know where to go. My way home is from Name's 1 Hour away. She came outside looked at me and understood what happend. She was mad and so worried. I couldnt speak because i was scared i think. She said she waited because smth felt off and i always pick my phone at the way home.. Im just another person now. I loved it in crowds loved it to be the loud one loved it to flirt and live life. I cant hear music anymore, i cant look in peoples eyes, im so agressive all the time, i dont want to go outside. I quit my job and my univerity, just stayed at home. Im loosing myself and the most fucked up part is that i know they can live the same, no guilt no sadness. Just work and they kids and wife at home.. I got 21 now. I always thought i will have everything what i need but i lost. I hope i can overcome this bullshit. I talk about it a lot, i never cried even if im usually sooo emotional. I only cried in that night. Idk sometimes i try to live like im still the old me, but it feels wrong yk? Yeah so this is my story. Im trying to recover because i finally unsterstood how important it is to heal urself❤️ !! We still matter even after this expieriences