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Why didn't anyone help me? How a survivor saved my life.

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サバイバーへのメッセージ

Dear survivor, I BELIEVE YOU. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE LOVED. I wish I could take your pain away. I know you will get through this. You made it this far and I am so proud of you. DO NOT stop fighting!!!!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT. Love, Your friend.

いやしのメッセージ

Healing for me means acceptance. I need to accept the things that happened to me in order to move forward. For so long I have focused on trying to forget and move on like it never happened. But now I know that's silly. Because it did happen and it's apart of me now whether I like it or not. So I want to take control of it. Take control of my life again. And remind myself that the worst is over. Now I'M in control.

I was in High School and he was my boyfriend. I don't remember the amount of times he SA me, but I do remember how he did it. I remember the things he would say before he did it. The things he'd say during. And how quick he was to put the blame on me once he had finished. While I was enduring this abuse, I was perceived as a psycho girlfriend who was emotional and dramatic. No one questioned the bags under my eyes, the bruises and cuts on my body, my sudden weight loss, how uncomfortable I was in his presence, or the fact that another victim of his came forward. Instead they perceived me as the girlfriend who was an emotional wreck, an attention seeker, a drama queen. No one cared to look deeper. I felt failed by my peers, by my friends, by my best friend, by my teachers, and by the one guidance councillor I opened up to. I still feel failed by them. But there was one person who DID help me. She was a surviver also. A girl who opened up to me about her story in class one day. "Until it happens to you" began to ring true to me. I wasn't judged or questioned by her. I was accepted. I felt accepted. And so I want to thank her. Thank her for saving me, in a time where she also needed saving. For helping me understand something she didn't even understand herself. For having the courage to speak her truth, despite only knowing me for a short period of time. And for looking deeper. Please reach out to other survivors if you are feeling alone. The mutual understanding between survivors is a feeling unmatched. I love each and everyone of you, and wish you nothing but a safe and happy future.

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