My story - My First Semester of College.

This whole thing started on Date, when he added me on Snapchat. I saw that we had mutual friends, so I added him back. We talked that night for a couple of hours and he made some unwelcome comments that I can't remember the details of. I did make it clear to him that I did not want anything serious or "noncommittal" at the time. We talked for a couple more days and then I noticed he unadded me on all social media. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, on Date 2, right before I left for State, he added me back on everything, so we started talking again. I had noticed even looking back on our conversations, that he was very cautious about the conversations we had online, but in person, things escalated and he had no problem saying exactly what he thought and wanted. I came to State a week early, so I offered to help him move in when he got here. On Date 3, I helped him move his things in. He had his uncle and a friend there helping as well. After helping him move in, his uncle said that he wanted to treat me to dinner, so they both took me out to dinner. The friend did not join us. While talking, [he] made a comment asking if I had seen the movie The Nun. I said that I had not, because I am not a huge fan of scary movies. His uncle proceeded to say, "Well, with scary movies, you just have to find a guy to cuddle up with. [he] is a good cuddler!" To which [he] laughed at that comment and I nervously laughed because I was uncomfortable. While we were out at dinner, [he] hugged me a couple of times and I didn't feel the most comfortable with that, but it was just a hug, so I didn't take that much notice of it. The next night I reached out to him just to check on how he was getting all moved in. He explained that it was going well and asked if we could hang out, to which I agreed. So, he came over to my apartment and we just sat and talked for a little bit. I do remember one unsettling comment he made though. It was this: - "It’s a good thing that I’m not your mentor because we’re talking." I've now come to understand that mentors and mentees are not supposed to have relationships, hence the intention of his comment. After that night, I didn't hang out with him in person until Wednesday, Date 4, but there was moderate communication between us at that point. I reached out to him that Wednesday because I just wanted to hang out, even though there were some red flags, I didn't think that any of them were too alarming, so I reached out. So on the Date 4, I got into his car and he drove me to the frozen yogurt place. After getting in the car, he reached out his hand for me to hold. Reluctantly, I held his hand because I froze and didn't know what to do at the moment. I wasn't aware that he thought it was a date until he framed it that way later. After frozen yogurt, we headed back to our apartment complex and he parked the car. We sat there for a minute and I looked at him and he started to kiss me. Things started to escalate quickly as he began making out with me and started to touch my boobs. I was startled by this, but I let this keep going because I didn't know what else to do. At one point, a car pulled up next to us and he said "The person that just pulled up next to us just got a show." I think that we were in the car for around 15 minutes, and then after that, we parted ways. That night he messaged me saying he had fun and wanted to hang out the next day, to which I said yes. At this point, I wasn't in the best mental state and I was very vulnerable, so it felt like someone genuinely just wanted to hang out with me and that made me feel good and appreciated. So, the next day, Thursday, Date 5, I walked over to his apartment. He opened the door and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. We walked over to the couch and sat down. He waited until I sat down, so he could sit as close as he possibly could. He put on a movie and then, he initiated a makeout session. At first, it was just making out, but it quickly escalated. I don't remember the course of how everything happened, but I do remember what happened. We would be making out and he would guide my hand to touch and leave on his penis. While that would be happening, he would be making comments like "I'm almost there, keep going" over and over. Meaning that he was getting aroused and close to cumming. Another comment he made was "Do you want to see it?" (meaning his penis) and when I said no, he would keep persisting and say "Well, I'm in the mood for it." Something else that happened was that he would bring his hand on my thigh and then slowly make his way to touching my vagina. He would start to finger my vagina and I just sat there paralyzed. Whenever I would stop touching his penis, he would quickly start to move my hand back on it and say "You should do it more." I didn't want to but I was scared of what would happen if I were to stop. He also made his way up to my boobs and was touching them and squeezing them (over the shirt) and then, he proceeded to look down my shirt. After he did that, he stuck his hands up my sweatshirt and shirt and continued to touch my boobs, but under the shirt. Sometime in the conversation, he asked questions like, "Do you want to try oral?" and "Do you want to try durfing?" Both of which I replied no to, but then he asked me when I would be comfortable doing that kind of stuff, and I replied I don't know. He replied with "This weekend? Next month?" and I ultimately just had to say, we'll see. Along with these comments, he asked me how far I would be willing to go and I replied with "I don't know" because obviously, I felt stuck in the situation. His reply to this was "I obviously don’t want to go as far as sex, because I don’t want to break covenants." This is important to note because he is an endowed member of the church that I am a part of. Through these conversations in between, we would still be making out and touching inappropriately, but then, he also wanted me to get on his lap both facing him and with my back to him. When I was on his lap facing the tv, he would proceed to thrust his hips forward as if he was trying to put his penis in my butt. (This all happened while clothed, he was just trying to go as far as he could while clothed.) He also wanted me to "move my butt around in circles" when I was on his lap facing the tv. When I was on his lap facing him, he tried to do things the other way around. He would get his penis as close to my vagina while clothed as he could. This whole time I just felt numb and trapped, I didn't know what to do. He even asked me the question, "Does doing this feel wrong to you? Because this doesn’t feel wrong to me." To which I said "Yes, this does feel wrong.", but he kept going. There was also a point where I was lying on top of him and we were cuddling and then he asked me to talk dirty to him, but I didn't because I used the excuse with him that I wasn't good at it, to which he said he would demonstrate it for me. What he said as a "demonstration" was, "I can’t wait to have sex with you." When he said that, I felt even more numb and stuck. So through all of it, he was asking all of these questions and touching me inappropriately and I was praying that he wouldn't go further. The movie finished and then we went our separate ways and didn't have contact until Sunday, Date 6. The conversation just started with a simple conversation of how we were and then he asked if I wanted to "hang out" sometime this week. To which I replied with, "Actually, I need to talk to you about that." and when I sent that, he unadded me and unfollowed me on all social media. I then noticed about 20 minutes later that he added me back on Snapchat and I confronted him about what he had done and said, "If you're going to unadd me because I don't feel comfortable giving you want you want, just unadd me." and then I proceeded to block him on everything so he could not contact me. It's only been a month and a half since this happened, and I am on my healing journey, but it is hard to constantly see his truck every single day. My university is working towards a punishment for him, but I can't help but think that he will not get a big punishment, even with all this evidence stacked against him. I just want you to know that if you were sexually assaulted or raped, that it is absolutely NOT your fault that it happened to you. You are not alone and you never will be. Seeking professional help has helped me to navigate this situation and I would recommend it to you if that is what you feel like you need to do. You are amazing and you are enough. You are not whatever situation happened. You are so strong, and you've got this. I believe in you and I love you.