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Message of Healing

At this point in my life I don't give a crap about my own healing or healing goals I just want an opportunity to try to heal anything about my kids they didn't ask for any of this I failed them miserably and they don't understand what it is to be an adult I believe that our children only know us as parents and they think that we should know everything about parenting and how can we possibly dare make any mistakes because that's our job they don't see us as my children don't see me as a woman or a human being that had her own s*** that she was going through and it was hard for me too and I didn't know how to walk us all through it I didn't have a clue and that makes me really mad about stupid AI's now there's half a dozen AIS on my phone that now I can just say what should I do in this situation what do my kids need now that book that we all said didn't come with having kids to teach us to raise them no it's here now it's AI on your phone and it really should have came out a long long time ago because the world would be a different place and so many people wouldn't be so twisted I failed them it was my one job then I lost sight of the goal before I was done with the race and I just want to try to heal some of that for them I don't care about myself that's where I went wrong I stopped putting them first I was so afraid of being my piece of crap mom that I didn't be the mom I could have had I known I mean I wasn't my mom that's for sure I achieved that goal but I missed a lot of things along the way that I should have been I didn't keep friends I didn't have a social life I didn't have a relationship with my husband I didn't go anywhere but the grocery store and work for over a decade and a half I was Uber mom and super wife that was what I was and I was damn good at it and I burnt myself out I got burnt out no one appreciated it no one thing to me for it I wasn't noticed so I stood up one day and said I'm going to take care of myself first for a change I want to be happy I want my children to see what it's like to be a happy person my children didn't even know me I was miserable they didn't know what it was like to be in a healthy normal loving relationship with anyone I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept my head down until I was done with that job and I didn't so my healing goal is I want to hold them one more time and hear their voices one more time know that I could recognize them if they were standing next to me in line at the grocery store and even if it doesn't work just one tiny tiny opportunity to try to heal anyone tiny piece of all of the millions of pieces of their broken hearts before I die that's my goal for healing

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.