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Mi hija fue violada por su terapista, quedo embarazada. Soy su Madre como puedo sanar su dolor. El agresor sigue amenazandola. Comparten custodia de mi nieto. My daughter was raped by her therapist and became pregnant. I am her Mother, how can I heal her pain? The aggressor continues to threaten her and they share custody of my grandson.
Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Muchas gracias por esta pregunta. Lamento profundamente el dolor que estÃĄ atravesando su familia. La situaciÃŗn que ha soportado su hija es verdaderamente horrible e inimaginable. Como su madre, su funciÃŗn principal es brindarle amor incondicional, creerle y apoyarla. ValÃdela haciÊndole saber que lo que le sucediÃŗ no fue en absoluto su culpa. La total responsabilidad recae en el terapeuta que explotÃŗ su posiciÃŗn de poder y abusÃŗ de la confianza depositada en Êl de la manera mÃĄs imperdonable. HÃĄgale saber que usted estarÃĄ ahà para ella, pase lo que pase.
Buscar servicios de asesoramiento tanto para usted como para su hija puede ayudar a procesar el trauma que ella experimentÃŗ de una manera saludable. Tener un espacio seguro y libre de juicios para procesar las emociones en torno a la violaciÃŗn, las amenazas de su agresor y el posterior embarazo puede comenzar a sanar el daÃąo que sufriÃŗ su familia y ayudarla a tomar mejores decisiones en el futuro. TambiÊn podrÃa sugerirle a su hija la terapia grupal. Conocer a otras personas en situaciones similares puede ayudarla a sentirse menos sola y a tener una comunidad mÃĄs amplia de apoyo. Si bien los servicios profesionales pueden ser Ãētiles, es posible que ella aÃēn no estÊ preparada para eso. Respete sus decisiones y hÃĄgale saber que estÃĄ dispuesta a ayudarla a conectarse con esos servicios si cambia de opiniÃŗn.
En cuanto a la custodia y la protecciÃŗn de su hija y su nieto de mÃĄs abusos y amenazas, es sensato explorar todas las opciones legales y los recursos de apoyo a vÃctimas. Una orden de restricciÃŗn puede ser viable para evitar que el agresor la contacte. TambiÊn puede consultar con organizaciones especializadas en casos de custodia que involucran abuso para comprender los derechos de los padres y cÃŗmo garantizar mejor la seguridad de su nieto. Es importante tener en cuenta que navegar por estos servicios puede resultar retraumatizante para su hija. AnticÃpese a esto y continÃēe rodeando a su hija con la seguridad de que esto no fue culpa suya y que apoya cualquier decisiÃŗn que ella tome y crea que es la mejor. Su amor, paciencia y defensa de su hija serÃĄn cruciales mientras intenta reconstruir su vida dispues de esta experiencia devastadora. Nuevamente, gracias por contactarnos.Â
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Thank you so much for this question. I am so sorry for the pain your family is experiencing. The situation your daughter has endured is unimaginably horrific. As her mother, your primary role is to provide her with unconditional love, belief, and support. Validate that what happened to her was in no way her fault. The full responsibility lies with the therapist who exploited their position of power and trust in the most unforgivable way. Let her know you are there for her, no matter what.
Seeking counseling services for both you and your daughter can help process the trauma she experienced in a healthy way. Having a safe, non-judgmental space to process emotions around the rape, threats from her abuser, and subsequent pregnancy can begin to heal the harm that happened to your family and help support your decision-making going forward. You might also suggest group therapy to her. Meeting other people who have experienced similar situations can help her feel less alone and give her a larger community of support. While professional services may be helpful, she might not be ready for that yet. That is okay. Respect her decision-making and let her know you are willing to help connect her should she change her mind.Â
Regarding custody and protecting your daughter and grandson from further abuse and threats, it is wise to explore all legal options and victim advocacy resources. A protection or restraining order may be viable to prevent the aggressor from contacting her. You may also wish to consult with organizations that specialize in custody cases involving abuse to understand parental rights and how to best ensure your grandson's safety. It is important to note that navigating these services may be retraumatizing for your daughter. Proactively anticipate this and continue surrounding your daughter with reassurance that this was not her fault, and that you support any decisions that she makes that she thinks is best. Your love, patience and advocacy for your daughter will be crucial as she tries to heal from this devastating experience. Thank you again for reaching out to us.Â
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 â things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 â things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 â things you can hear
2 â things you can smell
1 â thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is todayâs date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: âI am powerful.â Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.