I've never been sure if what I experienced was COCSA, my childhood friend used to ask me to have sex with her, she asked me multiple times and once she'd pressured me she would get on top of me and grind onto me and ask me "doesn't it feel good?". She also used to watch R rated movies and tell me we should "watch it for the sex scene" we were the same age and stayed friends throughout school years until she moved away. I never told anyone about it until I got with my first boyfriend.

What you're describing sounds really confusing to make sense of, and it's completely understandable that you've been uncertain about how to understand these experiences. It sounds like this has weighed on you for a long time, and the fact that you're asking this question shows you're trying to process something that has stayed with you.

Sexual curiosity and exploration between children of similar ages is a normal part of growing up, and this includes exploration between children of the same gender. Many children are naturally curious about bodies and what feels good physically. Same-sex exploration (apologies I am making an assumption about your gender based on quesiton context) in childhood doesn't mean anything definitive about someone's sexuality, and it's an experience many people have as part of normal development. What can make childhood sexual experiences feel harmful or uncomfortable is when one child repeatedly pressures the other, when requests continue after someone seems hesitant or unsure, or when the experience doesn't feel mutual or wanted. When sexual behaviors between children involve one child feeling coerced, unable to set boundaries, or uncomfortable, it can fall under child-on-child sexual abuse, even when both children share the same age.

Sometimes people carry extra layers of shame or confusion when childhood experiences that felt harmful also involved same-sex contact. It's important to separate these two things if you can. What matters is how the experience happened and how it made you feel. If you felt pressured or uncomfortable, that's about the pressure and lack of consent, not about the fact that this involved another girl. 

It's understandable that these memories remain confusing, especially since you maintained a friendship with her for years afterward. Many people in similar situations feel torn because the person and the relationship held both good memories and unsettling moments. The important thing to remember is that none of this was your fault. Your sense that these encounters left you uneasy matters deeply, and what you felt at the time and how it affects you now are both valid.

You get to decide what this experience means to you and what language, if any, feels right for describing it. Some people find comfort in naming their experiences, while others prefer to simply acknowledge that something happened that affected them. There's no right or wrong way to understand your own story. Even without a formal label, your feelings are valid, and you aren't alone in wondering about experiences like this. It can help to talk with someone trained in these issues, like a support line or a trauma-informed counselor, so you can explore your feelings safely and at your own pace. Reaching out for understanding is an important step, and you deserve support from people who respect what you went through and help you move forward with self-compassion and acceptance.