🇺🇸

I understand that sexual arousal can sometimes occur during trauma flashbacks for survivors. I'm seeking to understand from a mental health perspective: Is it psychologically healthy or harmful to engage in consensual sexual activity (either alone or with a partner) when experiencing these trauma responses? How can survivors navigate these complex physical reactions in a way that supports healing?

Answer written by a PhD Prepared Mental Health Nurse

Thank you for reaching out with this important question. I am hearing your concern about navigating these complex feelings and responses and will try to provide information to support you the best I can. Experiencing sexual arousal during flashbacks is a reaction that many survivors encounter, but I understand that it can be both confusing and distressing. Please know that you're not alone.

Physical arousal during flashbacks is a common physiological response that many survivors experience, though it can feel isolating or distressing. This happens because our nervous system creates unconscious connections between past trauma and physical responses - similar to how our heart might race when we remember a frightening experience. These automatic bodily reactions occur outside our conscious control and don't reflect desire or enjoyment of the traumatic memories.

When flashbacks trigger arousal, it's crucial to understand that this is your body responding to stored trauma memories, not a reflection of your feelings about the traumatic experience itself. Just as we can't control whether our hands shake when we're nervous, we also can't control these automatic trauma responses. This understanding can help reduce feelings of shame or confusion about these reactions.

The question of whether to engage in sexual activity during these responses is deeply personal and can affect different survivors in varying ways. Some find that consensual sexual activity helps them reclaim their bodily autonomy and reduce the power of flashbacks, almost like rewiring those neural pathways with new, chosen experiences. Others might discover that sexual activity during flashbacks makes it harder to stay grounded in the present moment or intensifies their distress.

The key consideration is how these choices affect your healing journey. Think of it like learning to swim after a near-drowning experience - some people find it healing to gradually return to the water in a safe environment, while others might need different approaches to process their trauma. Neither approach is inherently wrong; what matters is whether it supports your personal healing process.

If you choose to engage in sexual activity during or after flashbacks, it's helpful to develop awareness of whether you're staying connected to the present moment or getting pulled into trauma memories. This might mean checking in with yourself about:

  • Whether you feel grounded in your current surroundings
  • If you can maintain awareness of your present-day safety
  • How your emotions shift before, during, and after
  • Whether the experience leaves you feeling more or less regulated

Developing a toolkit of grounding techniques can be valuable. These might include focusing on current sensory experiences (what you can see, hear, or touch in the present moment), using breathing exercises, or engaging in gentle physical movements that remind you of where and when you are. Think of these techniques as anchors that help you stay connected to the present when flashbacks try to pull you into the past.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist can provide crucial support in understanding your specific responses and developing personalized strategies for managing flashbacks. They can help you explore the nuances of your experiences and find approaches that promote healing rather than reinforcing trauma patterns.

Healing from trauma isn't a linear journey - it often involves periods of progress, setbacks, and new understanding. Be patient with yourself as you learn to navigate these complex experiences. Thank you for asking us this complex question. We appreciate your trust. 

  • Share to WhatsApp
  • Share to Facebook
  • Copy Link
  • Share to Twitter
  • Share to LinkedIn
  • Share to Reddit
  • Share to Pinterest
  • Share to Email

Just Checking...

Discard Message?

You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it?

Similar community content

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam felis, ultricies nec, pellentesque eu, pretium quis, sem. Nulla consequat massa quis enim. Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate

0

Members

0

Views

0

Reactions

0

Stories read

For immediate help, visit {{resource}}

Made with in Raleigh, NC

|

Read our Community Guidelines, Privacy Policy, and Terms

Post a Message

Share a message of support with the community.

We will send you an email as soon as your message is posted, as well as send helpful resources and support.

Please adhere to our Community Guidelines to help us keep Our Wave a safe space. All messages will be reviewed and identifying information removed before they are posted.

Ask a Question

Ask a question about survivorship or supporting survivors.

We will send you an email as soon as your question is answered, as well as send helpful resources and support.

How can we help?

Tell us why you are reporting this content. Our moderation team will review your report shortly.

Violence, hate, or exploitation

Threats, hateful language, or sexual coercion

Bullying or unwanted contact

Harassment, intimidation, or persistent unwanted messages

Scam, fraud, or impersonation

Deceptive requests or claiming to be someone else

False information

Misleading claims or deliberate disinformation

Log in

Enter the email you used to submit to Our Wave and we'll send you a magic link to access your profile.